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“Tell her—”
“I can’t go, okay? I can’t take two weeks off work. I can’t see you any more. I can’t have this conversation. Goodbye, Dylan.”
As I boardedthe flight to LA the next morning, my mind was a foggy mess with thoughts of Grace and how to make it work with her. I had sent her two messages, and received no response to either. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been this hung up on a woman, but I didn’t feel like myself at all.
In fact, the only time I really felt like myself lately was when I was with Grace. Having her near did something to me. She made me feel like I wasn’t a worthless rockstar with nothing of value to offer the world. She made me feel important and loved, which was something I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
“Let’s get wasted when we land, yeah?” Matteo asked as he plopped down into the seat next to me.
“Dude, we have rehearsals all day. And soundcheck tonight.”
“So? We can get a little buzzed while we do that.”
“Be my guest, man.”
“You need to get laid,” Matteo said under his breath.
“Excuse me?”
“You’ve got a stick up your ass.”
“I do not have a stick up my ass.”
“Then why don’t you want to have a drink when we get to LA?”
“You didn’t say a drink. You said ‘let’s get wasted’. Big difference.”
“Whatever,” he said with an eye roll.
The cross-country flightfelt like it took an eternity. I felt like all of my bandmates were walking on eggshells around me, but I couldn’t quite figure out why. I knew I hadn’t been myself lately, but I was doing my best to keep it from all of them. I had already told them things were over between me and the girI I’d been hung up on before, but I wasn’t sure they believed me.
I needed them to get off my case so I could enjoy my two weeks in LA without being worried about what they were saying behind my back. So, I decided I needed to get back to being my old self, regardless of whether I wanted to or not.
“Where are we going tonight?” I asked casually after we were finished with our soundcheck late that evening.
“What are you talking about?” Sean asked with an eyebrow raised.
“It’s our first night here. Shouldn’t we be going out?”
Sean, Matteo, and Austin all glanced between one another, clearly skeptical.
“Come on guys, it’s been so long since we’ve all gone out together. It will be fun.”
“Well,” Austin started to say.
Sean jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow, effectively silencing him.
“What? You guys already have plans or something?”
“We didn’t think you’d want to come with us,” Austin said.
Matteo and Sean both shot him a glance, and I knew they had discussed this previously. Austin was always the one to lay it all out there, though.
“Oh, well, that’s fine. I’ll find something to do by myself, I guess.”
The three men looked at each other, and I tried not to make eye contact with any of them. Finally Matteo let out a long sigh.
“You can come with us, if you want.”
