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Oh.Oh.
I clear my throat, but he doesn’t let me talk.
“Don’t say anything. We can’t. You were right before, it won’t work. It’s fucked up, but since I tasted you in your hallway, it’s all I can think about. I want to fuck you so hard that you’ll feel me for days. I want to hear you whisper my name and beg me to fuck you harder… Fuck Nora, I haven’t wanted anyone like this in my entire life.”
Yep, that’ll do it again. I’m speechless. My mouth is dry, and my heart is pounding like a drum. Don’t even get me started on the throbbing I feel elsewhere.
“I… I don’t know… what do you want me to say?”
“You feel it too, right?” he asks, his voice deep and delicious.
I swallow hard. “Feel what exactly?”
He takes a purposeful breath in, and for some reason it gives me goosebumps. “Whatever this energy is between us. It hasn’t gone away. If anything, it’s burning me alive and making me feel like I’ll die if I don’t touch you.” His breath is heavy against the speaker of the phone and my body echoes his words, feeling hot and needy.
He sighs loudly when I don’t respond, and frustration laces his words. “I know I’m no good for you. But fuck, I want to be good for you.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes because he’s not wrong, he doesn’t want a relationship and I would. He wants to fuck me and I… well, I want that too, but it comes with feelings for me. He can’t handle that. “If we sleep together again, I know I’ll want more, and you don’t. Let alone the fact that we have two very important people in common, it could end up ruining your friendship. I don’t want that for you.”
Silence.
I’m right, and he knows it. What else is there to say? As much as my body wants to jump him, I know I’ll get hurt.
“How can you know I won’t want more, if I don’t even know that?” he sighs sombrely.
“I don’t want to be your trial run, the one who you test out a relationship with. I deserve more than that,” I say honestly.
“Nora, I know I’m not perfect and I’ll probably mess up a few times, but I want to see where this goes because I hate staying away from you.”
My heart leaps. Him giving me honesty is more than I thought would happen. I don’t need him to be perfect, but I need him to be careful with my heart if I give it to him.
“Can I think about it?” I ask, needing a minute to process everything that’s happened and could happen between us.
He sighs loudly. “Okay, I’ll keep my distance until you tell me what you want.”
“Thank you. I promise I’m not trying to be difficult. I’m…I’m—”
“Scared? Me too, shorty.”
Chapter 19
Grayson
Iknowwetalkedthe other night. I know I said I’d stay away. I’ve thought about her every night since the hen and stag party. It’s now Wednesday and my reasons for staying away from her have eroded a little more each night.
Every night, as I fuck my hand, my resolve to stay away from her weakens. The thing I’ve come to learn about Nora is that I don’t want tojustfuck her again. I mean, I do, but that’s not all. I want to be around her. The day we spent together ticking things off her list has been on replay in my head. The way she moves, laughs, gets this cute little crinkle on the bridge of her nose when she finds me really funny, or really annoying. I want to see more of it, of her.
I’m not this guy, relationships and even double tapping, makes me break out into a sweat. But with Nora, the only kind of sweat I get is caused by a huge swarm of butterflies that rage in my stomach when I see her. She makes me want to try for her. She makes me want to feed her grapes and fan her with a fucking palm tree leaf – what the fuck is up with that? My life was always uncomplicated until her. Nora Scott is an enigma, one I want to spend time figuring out.
I’m seeing her tonight because Liam invited me over for dinner. I could’ve come up with an excuse and bailed, but like I said, my resolve is fraying. That and apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment. Rules are meant to be broken though, right?
I pull up outside their house in my black i8, letting the engine rumble for a minute, trying to regain my composure. I can’t control what my body might do at the sight of Nora again when a memory pops into my head.
I sit with my hands over my ears. Not wanting to hear my parents argue anymore. I hate this. Every night, every weekend, my parents have changed. They’re these angry versions of themselves that continually tell me relationships are full of shit. They don’t have time for me and that makes my heart hurt. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t thought of running away, even at fourteen, but I can’t leave them. They’re my parents and all I want is for them to be happy and us to be together… happy.
I turn off the engine and take a deep breath, shaking the memory from my brain. That memory, like so many others, has stopped me from finding someone like Nora and I want to break the cycle… for her. So we can give this a chance.
I’ve thought about what I’ll say to Nora tonight, and I figure I’m just going to be myself. I lock my car and walk to their front door. When she opens it, her scent invades my senses, sweet brownies and cupcakes, which I realised last week is her shower gel. My mouth waters and my body trembles internally, but I steel my expression, not wanting her to see the inner battle I’m having with myself just yet.
