AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Nora? What’s going on? I’m definitely missing something. Are you still sick?” Jess says, the unconditional love in her eyes is mixed with confusion.
“I’m not sick… I’ve been sleeping with Grayson,” I admit, although ‘sleeping with’ him doesn’t feel accurate for what we were doing, but there it is. Jess looks like she’s frozen, mouth open and eyes flicking around in confusion. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want it to become a thing. It wasn’t supposed to become something but now… I don’t even know what’s going on.” I rub my temples to relieve the tension headache slowly creeping into my head.
Jess comes to sit next to me on the sofa and takes my hand from my head, squeezing it gently. “And those women at the bar?”
“I don’t even know what they were but, it’s safe to say, we’re not sleeping together anymore.”
“Fucking dickhead,” Zoey mumbles, sitting opposite us on the low coffee table.
“I really wish you’d told me. I would’ve at least given him a warning that if he hurt you, I’d kill him,” her eyes soften. “But I know you, Nor. What’s going on in your head?” Jess asks, placing her hand on my knee that has started jittering.
It’s futile ignoring Jess. She knows me better than anyone, which is probably why I never actually told her about Grayson in the first place. It’s out of character for me and now I know why.
“I think I’m falling in love with him. Orwasfalling, or am. God, I don’t know,” I say, dropping my head into my hands with a groan.
I’m terrified that I’m too far gone for him. I’ve fallen headfirst into something that wasn’t meant to last.I’m afraid.
“Why are you afraid?” Jess asks.Shit, I must’ve said that out loud.
I let my honest feelings free, admitting them to myself for the first time as I say them out loud to Jess and Zoey. “Well, let’s see. I’m terrified of what I feel for him. Like hiding from a mega storm scared. He doesn’t seem to want to do the relationship thing. In fact, he told me that several times but clearly my brain and body didn’t get the memo. Plus, in reality, I haven’t had a relationship that wasn’t a disaster.”
We’re quiet for a second before Zoey leans in towards us both. “Let me tell you a secret. No one is good at relationships. Everyone is trying to make things work, day in, day out. There’s no manual for this shit, you have to take the risk sometimes… if you think he’s worth it.”
“For someone who doesn’t want a relationship, you’re pretty invested in how they work,” I laugh emptily, wondering when Zoey became such a relationship guru.
She shrugs. “Meh, I don’t need to want one to know how they work., I guess we’re all hardwired to want someone to share our life with. My hardwiring just got fucked up along the way, with my shitty parents with more money than morals, but that doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. I have lots of people I care about and who care about me. Don’t psychoanalyse me for saying that either.” She points an accusatory finger at me. I mime locking my lips and throwing away the key.
Focussing back on the feeling in my chest, I admit, “I’m hurting. What if he slept with those women? What if he’s doing that right now?”
“He didn’t come back into the bar after he left to find you,” Zoey states.
“Outside the bar, he said he had feelings for me, but it’s made me more confused,” I admit, emotion lacing my voice.
“Do you want to talk to him?” Jess asks.
“I do, but I don’t. I’m upset that he told me he liked meafterI saw him with two women. It may have been nothing but if the roles were reversed, I’m sure he’d feel the same as me and right now, I just want a bit of space. God, my brain is a mess.”
“I’m so sorry, Nor. I hate seeing you sad. How can we help?” Jess leans her head against my shoulders, and I take a deep, cleansing breath.
“I’m not sure. You both being here is helping. Do me favour though?” I ask and Jess nods. “Don’t say anything to Liam yet. I need a few days to process. I never wanted to put a strain on their friendship. It means a lot to Grayson.”
Jess lifts her head to look at me. “Promise.”
Zoey claps her hands and stands up. “Right, we’re going to do something, no more crying. Wanna watch a movie where the good girl meets a bad boy?” Her eyebrows quirk playfully.
“Do you think she’ll be as stupid as I am and fall head over heels for him?” I scoff.
“I’d be disappointed if she didn’t,” Jess replies.
Chapter 30
Grayson
We’restandingintherugby club waiting for the kids’ practice to begin this week. Liam and I have been coaching this under 11s team for a few years now every Sunday. It’s fucking freezing today. The shiver of a thought runs through me that we have to go outside into colder conditions makes me want to run back to my bed. But then I don’t want that either because for the first time in a while, my bed was empty last night, and I hate it.
The kids are hyped today, running around the changing room like lunatics. “Boys, five minutes and you need to head outside!” I bellow, giving them a time limit to get changed. They all scramble to the door and Liam follows us all out to the pitch. When the cold hits us both, we shudder and zip up our jackets.
“Dude, I need advice,” I mumble to Liam. I’ve been debating whether or not to ask him for help because he doesn’t know anything about Nora and me yet. And I’m sure he’ll have a lot to say with his fists if he finds out I’ve been messing around with her behind his back. Although, it’s more than messing around and I know that now. I spent the last two nights thinking about her after she walked away from me. I’m an action kind of guy so storming into her house seemed the only option, except her words echoed in my head,‘I need more than an apology right now, I need space’So I listened and practised restraint, for once in my life.
