Page 162 of Feels Like Forever


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But in my mind, it’s different with Landon, and I’m mostly sure that’ll carry over into real life. So I pushed past my shyness to tell him that, too.

Even now, three days later, I can still feel how hot my face was…but I wanted him to know I can’t justhandlesex with him, Iwantit with him. I’d like to think I wouldn’t mind him muffling my moans of pleasure so as not to wake Rae in the middle of the night, but honestly, the hand-on-my-mouth thing is still iffy. The thought of being underneath him, though, doesn’t make me feel wholly anxious. The thought of having his hands on my body doesn’t outright disturb me.

I trust him so much, care about him so much—I don’t even know how long it’s been since Ididn’tfeel comfortable with him close to me.

That had been a relief to him, but he said, “Well, listen to me, Liv: no matter how much you want me and trust me and care about me, and no matter what we’re in the middle of,stop meif you want to stop me. For any reason. I won’t be upset.” Then, to my pleasant surprise, he chuckled. “Might have to take a cold shower or something, but Iwon’tbe upset with you.”

I laughed, too.

I knew he meant every word.

And I thought I might’ve, just then, with peace flooding my chest, fallen in love with him.

Our talks were good and calming andover, and Rae was fast asleep, so we got to pull each other close and really kiss for the first time. It was all we did for I don’t know how long, and…I felt like I was fully alive.

I felt adored.

Each kiss was slow whether it was lips pressing or tongues sliding, full of quietly fierce purpose, not born of mere impulse like the one from when we met, not shy.

Incredible. Addictive.

Made us breathless. Made me want to ask him not to go home.

But we know that, for Rae’s sake, him staying the night as my boyfriend needs to be worked up to. I really don’t know, though, how long I can stand not having him as close as possible. He’s good for us, and we’re good for him.

Of course, emergencies allow for some rule-bending—emergencies like the woman across the hall getting her place broken into sometime between me and Rae leaving this morning and coming back this afternoon. I texted Landon what she told me about the incident; she suspects it was personal, and no one got hurt because she and her teenage son weren’t home at the time, but it still sounded scary as hell. And since she could be wrong about the motivation, I agreed with Landon that Rae and I shouldn’t be alone.

Technically, we decided we’d all stay athisapartment, not ours, because it’s not so close to the crime scene and Rae loves his Netflix.

What started my recollection of our discussion from three days ago was my thinking about tonight’s sleeping plans. They got me thinking about how big his bed might be, which got me imagining being alone in it with him. By no means will that happen because we’re not leaving Rae unsupervised after the break-in…but the quiet, harmless thoughts were…delicious.

And, yeah, they were what distracted me from packing my overnight bag.

I get back to it, sighing about how I only got one shirt folded before I went off into my head.

By the time Landon gets off work and comes knocking, everything is ready to go. Everything except Rae, anyway, who is in the bathroom.

He and I don’t waste the minute alone. A smile passes between us as he tilts my face up to his.

I breathe out, “I’m happy to see you.”

He breathes back, “Sohappy to see you,” before he fits his mouth to mine.

We inhale together and I hug him to me. Our exhalations allow the kiss to go deeper and it’s so warm, so good…and so short. Long before I’m ready for him to, he ends it with a soft tug on my bottom lip. I can’t help the noise of disappointment that leaves me.

“I know,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” I nod and touch my lips chastely to his just one more time. “Me, too.”

I can practically hear him thinking what I’m thinking: sooner or later, we’ll have real alone time and the freedom to do whatever we want.

Neither of us puts it into words, though, because Rae will be out here any second and we shouldn’t be all worked up around her.

As we step back from each other, he gives me another gorgeous smile. “All right, where’s your stuff? I can start walking it down the hall.”

Rae comes out of the bathroom just after he’s left with our bags and pillows.

“Ready, girlfriend?” I ask as I pat her ponytail. “Landon already took some of our things.”

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