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Because surely….
He turns his head my way, his gaze dragging over to my knees.
“She thought,” he continues, slow and strained, “that I was someone else—someone shehatesand isafraidof. And she started throwing stuff at me. And she called me a monster. And when the nurses and I tried to tell her who I really am, she said—” his voice is shaking now, “—‘I don’t have a grandson.’”
The words hit the air and hang there.
Ring in my ears.
Dig into my chest.
Shocked and horrified, I stare at him.
After several long seconds, I find enough voice to breathe out, “What?”
Slowly, so slowly, he moves his eyes up to my face, looking like—like…
…a boy.
A broken-hearted boy in a man’s body.
Because for all intents and purposes, Lolly is his mother, and sheforgot that.
She forgothim.
Something weird happens to me. I’m overwhelmed by the need to comfort him, so I put a hand on the couch between us and lean his way, but as my other hand comes into contact with his shoulder, I’m equally overwhelmed by the feeling that I should control myself. I end up touching him only for a moment before I rapidly withdraw my hands and jerk back into my own space.
An emotion other than misery flickers in his expression. It’s something similar to longing, but it’s not that exactly.
It’s gone in the blink of an eye, so I ignore it and say earnestly, “I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t help, but I don’t—I can’t put into words how much that hurts me. I’m just so sorry.” After a beat, I ask more softly, “What happened next?”
“They made me leave.”
That makes sense, I guess.
“I…” he shakes his head, “…I’m still so…shocked. You’d think I’d have been ready for this. I’ve known for years that this would happen someday. But—”
“No,” I cut in lightly. “That’s ridiculous. You couldn’t have been ready for that. Don’t think like that.”
He sits back against the couch, covers his face with his hands, and heaves a sigh of exhaustion.
“And it only happened a little while ago,” I add. “Of course you’re still shocked.”
He drops his hands and shrugs. “I mean, it happened this morning. I’ve had all day to come to terms with it.” He shrugs again, sighs again. “I tried, you know? I really tried to just go on to work and not—”
“Wait, what?” I interject. “It happened this morning?”
“Yeah.”
My mouth drops open.What the hell?“It happened and then you went right to work?”
“Yeah.”
“For how long?”
He frowns at me. “My normal shift. Eight hours.” In a mumble, he adds, “God, it fucking sucked….”
Eyes wide, I scoff. “I’m sure it did! You’ve carried this aroundall day,Landon?You—” I gesture at him, “—you’ve been walking around—working and dealing with people—like this all day?”
