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“We don’t have a when yet. We were going to decide after tomorrow. Regardless, you’re going to need time to rest, and I want to be here while you do.”
I have to rein in my tide of emotions. I pull out of his grip, and he offers no resistance. I slip into a chair beside the fireplace, a chair meant for only one, and I let my anger ignite the wood behind the grate. It roars to life, and Waffles, who was lying on his bed in front of the grate, jumps up with a hiss. He eyes the fire, backing away slowly until he scurries to the bed and jumps on it.
Essos sits on the ottoman at my feet, which I curl under me and away from him.
“Talk to me,” he pleads.
I look from the flames to him. I can see the bags under his eyes, the burden that he has been carrying longer than he wants to admit. So much has been resting on his shoulders, and he refuses to share that burden with me. I’m not sure which part makes me madder—this stupid plot, or that he wasn’t going to tell me about it.
“I don’t want you to go. We will get them, but we need to be smart about it. Going to get the dagger and scepter now is most certainly a trap. You made a vow to me for eternity. You’re not going back on that the day after you made it.”
“I’m not going back on it, but if we have a chance to get the scepter and dagger back, we need to take it. It could tip the balance in our favor.”
I bite on my nail, staring into the fire. “I don’t trust Octavia not to be on Posey’s side.” Maybe it’s time to have one of those difficult conversations we never seem to have. “Remember when Xavier showed up at our apartment in Solarem to tell me I was being sanctioned again?” I glance at Essos, who nods. He seems to understand that this is a serious conversation, and he pulls the ottoman closer in front of me.
“Yes,” he confirms, and the wariness in his voice tells me he remembers exactlywhyI was sanctioned.
“After Kai’s Trial, that night…” Gods. How am I supposed to tell Essos whatalmosthappened? Because the thing that has gotten me through every single day has been the reminder that it was an almost. It was a close almost, but it was still an almost, and when I have so much to carry on my shoulders already, is it so bad that not thinking about it is how I choose to survive? “Galen came to my room. He thought he deserved something from me he didn’t.” I still can’t get the words out. I glance at Essos, who has gone so still. “He was unsuccessful in trying to force himself on me. I defended myself using a letter opener that Bria gave me.”
The Goddess of the Hunt is a firm believer of being armed to the teeth. When she first gave me the letter opener, I laughed at just how pointy it was, but I’m grateful every day that it was sharpened like a true weapon.
“I remember her giving it to you. It was when we opened the Underworld offices. She said she knew you were never going to open mail, but it was still nice to have a weapon on hand.”
“I remember too,” I tell him. “I got my memories back,allof them, during the wedding.” This causes him to sit up straight in surprise. I slide my hand into his, needing his physical comfort. “We can discuss that later. But that night, I stabbed Galen, and he was bleeding everywhere, and I was in a panic. I called for Ellie, Zara, and Miranda to help me clean up, because I didn’t have my powers at the time. Miranda, who turned out to be your mother, provided the bloody sheets to the Council to sanction me. I know they would have done it anyway—Posey would have found a way to push her agenda—but your mother could have helped me, and she chose Galen and his deplorable actionsagain. She’s going to disappoint us all when she does it after we bring him back. Octavia refused to even acknowledge Callie; did you see that?”
For a minute, Essos doesn’t answer me, but he steps forward and scoops me into his arms, holding me tight. It’s what I need, the physical reminder that the man I love is here and he won’t let me wind up in a position like that again. But he can’t be everywhere all at once.
“I can’t be sorry enough that I wasn’t here to protect you from what went down during the Trials. Galen and Octavia are both monsters. I do not support either of them, but right now our interests align. I will do everything in my power for you.”
“Then why keep this plan from me?” I feel better getting that off my chest, and it’s helped me realize what my problem is now. It’s Essos’s insistence on keeping things from me.
“There are enemies pressing down on us while the world below us crumbles. We can’t be king and queen if there is nothing to rule over. We have a new goddess learning her errant powers, who is more liability than aid, and we have a looming vacancy among the Fates, one of whom used to cook our food. I am doing everything in my power to keep you safe, and if that means keeping things from you so you will sleep at night, just for right now, then I’ll fucking do it. You saw that memory I showed you this morning. You think that was just a one-time thing? It absolutely isn’t. You still do it. You want to know why I was out of bed? Because no amount of my touch would soothe your corpse flowers. I love you, Daphne, with every part of my soul, and there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you.”
“Telling me the truth is one thing,” I point out.
Essos’s face goes blank before he rises. It startles me, and I struggle in his grip. If we’re going to fight about this, I would rather be on my own two feet.
“Stop struggling, or Iwilldrop you,” he warns. I comply, shoving his shoulder for good measure, and he smirks down at me. “Close your eyes,” Essos whispers.
I listen to him because, even if we’re fighting, I trust him entirely. I feel the world drop out from under us for a flash of a moment.
The seawater is the first thing I notice before I feel the biting wind blowing off the ocean. I open my eyes, and Essos sets me on my feet. He’s standing in the surf, and now I am too, the waves gently licking up my legs.
“Why are we out here?” I press, crossing my arms. The cold air puckers my nipples, and I wish I were back inside by the warm fire.
“Because being in that house is driving us both mad. I got away for a week, and before that, I was out of it for several months, but you’ve been a hostage of that place for almost a year. I thought some fresh air might cool your temper.”
I glare. “My temper, Essos, is not the problem.”
“No, your problem is that while we’ve been able to blow off steam in any number of creative ways, you still haven’t had fun in how long?”
Essos invades my space, and I don’t stop him as he pulls open my robe, exposing me to the elements. His hands slide over my shoulders, pushing the robe off. He casts it into the air, letting a draft of wind carry it safely to the shore. He shirks off his own bottoms, which I’m delighted to discover were the only thing he was wearing. Similarly, Essos balls them and tosses them toward the beach, where they land beside my robe.
“What exactly is this naked fun that you plan on us having that is different from all the other times we’ve done the horizontal tango?”
“For starters, it’s going to be the vertical tango. And secondly, we’re just going to go for a swim.” Essos hoists me into his arms, knowing that I will not get into the frigid water unless I’m being carried. My legs lock around his hips, but I’m still skeptical and send a quick prayer to Kai to let the water be warm. I thank the Fates for my brother-in-law, because a bubble of warm water follows us as Essos wades farther into the water while I cling to him.
I let go of his neck, my body falling back. His hands anchor me to him, and I relax, knowing he has me. My temper has already cooled in the breezy night air. My astute husband is right. I can’t remember the last time I genuinely hadfun.And yes, I’m still mad at him for withholding his stupid plan, but I need this too.
