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I lean forward, drawing my knees up to my chest. My arms fold around them so I’m hugging myself, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Someone is dead. I can feel it. The only move they would have made is to get the scepter. The very thing I warned Essos about, the thing we fought over. I release my legs and grip the edges of the tub, my gaze locked on his face. His eyes are closed now.
“Finn.” His voice breaks, and I lean forward to grab his hands.
I can already feel the tears welling and my heart breaking. I’m not strong enough to hear this. I’m not strong enough to know. I don’t think I can handle looking at him when he breaks this news to me. Water drips down his face, and I mark each drop, knowing that it’s not just bathwater, but tears.
“No,” I choke out, covering my mouth with one hand while the other grips his wrist.
“He’s alive,” he swears.
I can read between the lines. Just barely. I’m not sure I can stomach knowing what happened to Finn.
Essos reaches forward and tugs me closer to him. The bathwater splashes over the sides of the tub as I glide back easily. My heart won’t still. My mind won’t stop.
“What happened?” I ask, my voice small. It’s how I feel right now—small and insignificant, reduced to a nervous, shaking mess. The tub is full of warm water, but I feel so, so cold.
Essos kisses the palms of my hands. “She took his eyes using her God Killer blade.”
I don’t comprehend what Essos has said at first…then I can see it happening. My clever friend, who has sticky fingers and never backs down from a fight, has been maimed. It’s not going to change how I feel about him, but knowing that I’ll never again see his bright eyes brimming with mirth leaves me bereft. I can’t imagine how he must feel.
“Where is he?” I demand, ready to get out of this tub to tend to him.
Essos holds tight to my wrists as I start to push to my feet. “Sit down,” he demands. It’s a tone he never uses with me, and I’m so surprised that I comply. His eyes burn into me, seeing past my bare body and into my heart and my intentions. Essos knows that I would run from this room, ignoring my own exhaustion, to tend to my friend.
“Yes, sir.” My voice is dripping with sarcasm as I settle back into the water.
Essos’s eyes flash with desire before his whole body softens to me. “I know you want to go to him. Dion is with him now. Finn hasn’t been alone, and right now, you’re my concern. So please, indulge me further.” Essos pulls me to him and turns me so my back is pressed against his chest. I do as he urges, not minding when his ankles hook on the insides of mine, spreading my legs. He doesn’t do what I expect; instead, he scoops my hair into a clip and starts to wash my body. I close my eyes, luxuriating in his devotions to me.
“I would prefer if you didn’t scare me like that again, love,” Essos whispers, kissing my cheek.
“I would prefer to not have to do that whole ritual again, so I think we’re agreed on that point.” I lean my head back to rest on Essos’s shoulder. I let myself slide briefly into the darkness that must have consumed my husband. What it must have been like to witness the love of his life, laid out and unconscious, and then his best friend return blinded. I want to hug him and kiss him and tell him that everything is going to be okay.
His hand gently strokes the bar of soap in small circles over my stomach, working his way outward. He rinses away the suds with his bare hands.
“Finn is going to be all right,” he promises, but I think it’s more for him than me. He has a rough edge to his voice, my husband who hasn’t gotten enough sleep, who has had worry consume him for days. I want to gather him in my arms, be a comfort for him, but when I try to twist around, he holds me tight where I am.
“He will be.” I’m silent a beat. “Did he succeed?” I hate asking the question.
Essos sighs, kissing my neck. “No. I knew it the minute he returned. When I touched the scepter, it felt…wrong somehow. I didn’t even try to use it. I’m afraid it’s a cursed object.”
I sink further into the tub, wondering how I can help Finn. He’ll hate it; he’ll feel like I’m making him a project, but he’s one of my oldest friends and I can’t let him slip away.
Essos warms the water and summons a platter of fruit. He grabs a strawberry and holds it to my lips until I take a bite, and juice runs down my neck. Essos leans forward and licks it, trailing up to my mouth. Each fruit he feeds me is ripe and juicy, strawberries and pineapple and blueberries.
We rest like this until we’re both prunes. Essos climbs out first, careful to help me and wrap me up. A full meal waits in our bedroom, and even though I’ve eaten my weight in fruit, I’m ravenous. My husband, my dream man, my everything, has tacos here for me, and my gods, I want to jump him.
Wrapped in a plush bathrobe, I sit down and grab one. The second I’m eating it, my stomach starts to churn. A smirk pulls at Essos’s lips, but he smooths it away as I lower the taco. I have to force myself to swallow, and I glare at the offending food as I set it back down on my plate. I reach instead for Essos’s plate, which has a well-seasoned chicken breast sitting on a bed of polenta.
“Baby girl doesn’t like tacos?” he asks, fighting the smile in his voice.
“Baby girl has decided that she is not interested in tacostoday.”
Essos takes the tacos from me and leans back with a laugh. My mind and body relax, and I try to forget about the world outside our bubble.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Essos asks as I lean back and rest my hands on my very full stomach.
“Just wondering if you’re excited about a girl. Wondering what we’re going to name her. Feeling guilty.”
His brow furrows. “Why do you feel guilty?”
