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“I am serious. Do you realize how exceptional you are, Mallory?”
“What are you— ”
“I have never seen anything like what you do with chess.Never.”
“I— You are ten times better than me. I beat youonce, while playing White, and you were probably expecting an easy game.”
“You haven’t answered my question.” He leans in even farther. He smells like soap and beer and something good and dark. “Do you know how fuckinggoodyou are?”
My eyes hold his. “Yes, Iknow.” It almost hurts to admit to it. To this boundless talent I have, for something that I swore to myself I wouldn’t pursue— a promise I fully intend to keep. “Does it bother you, that I’m that good?”
“No.” He’s not lying. Does he ever lie? “Maybe it should. But.” He lets thatbutdangle mysteriously.
“Why?”
He clucks his tongue. “You haven’t earned a question.” New grid. New game. New victory for Nolan. It’s my turn to slam my fist on the table. Nolan’s bottle, now empty, clinks against the cheap plastic, and irritation bubbles up my throat. Screw this game.
“Are you cheating?” I ask, acid. Angry.
“No. But it’s fascinating how your performance suffers when you lose your composure. You might want to work on that.”
“I’mnotlosing my composure, and my tic- tac- toe performance is hardly— ”
“Question,” he interrupts, a new edge to his voice. “Why do you pretend you don’t want this?”
“This?”
He gestures around himself. But then he says, “Chess. Why do you pretend you don’twantto play it?”
“You don’tknowme,” I bristle. “I just don’t like chess that much.”
He shakes his head with a small smile and draws another grid— then wins easily when I fumble. My hands are shaking, and I’msodone with—
“You feel it, too, don’t you, Mallory?” His tone is pressing. Low. “When you play, you feel the same thing I feel.”
I grit my teeth. “I have no idea what you feel. Chess is a stupid board game, and— ”
“Itisa stupid board game, but it’syours. I see the way you look at the pieces. It’s your world, isn’t it? The one you choose for yourself, well within your boundaries. You can be the queen in it. The king. The knight. Whatever you want. There are rules, and if you learn them well enough, then you’ll be able to control it. You’ll be able to rescue the pieces you care about. So unlike real life, huh?”
How dare he act like heknowsme, like he—
I hate him.
I don’t remember the last time I’ve been this angry. There’s bile churning in my stomach. I tear the flier from his hand and make another grid, almost ripping the paper in the process. It takes seven tries, but I finally win.
“What the hell do youwantfrom me?” I snap, leaning closer with a glare.
He lifts one eyebrow.
“Because I don’t understand,” I nearly yell. “Whyare you here when you have a tournament next week? Why do you presume to know anything about me? Why do you even care about my thoughts on chess— ” I end with an angry, beastly noise.
If Nolan is affected, he doesn’t show it. “I thought you were starting to get an idea.”
“I’m not. Justtellme what you want and— ”
A loud sound.
I turn to the door. Tanu and the others are walking inside, holding a stack of take- out pizzas, yelling something about pepperoni and anchovy discounts. I realize how close I am to Nolan and pull back. He keeps staring at me, the ghost of a sad smile on his lips.
