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“Mm, come here,” I mumble, pulling his wet figure against me as I slot my mouth over his.
Despite his wariness, his hot mouth is hungry and sloppy for me. We kiss lazily, slowly nipping at each other’s lips, tracing each other’s tongues with our own, fucking smoothly with our mouths as our cocks grow hard. When he wraps those thick thighs around my waist, there’s nothing more I want than to sink into that tight hole of his, but I refrain. There’s no lube and there’s no way I’m fucking him in the water where I could hurt him. Regardless, I do bring my fingers behind him and tease that little asshole a bit, smiling against his lips when he groans.
He reaches up with one hand to play with one of my nipple piercings I know he loves. He won’t say it, but he’s a kinky fuck. The dirtier the better for him. Fuck, I love it when he—
“Holy shit!”
Jarred tears himself away from me at my shout, looking around wildly at my panic. “What? Did you see someone?”
“No. I—” I let out a deep shudder as my heart races. “A fish just tried to swim up my ass!”
He blinks at me. “What?”
“You heard me! Fuck! Stop laughing!” I say, but I’m laughing along with him. I can’t help it. “Motherfucking handsy-ass fish. He’ll be lucky if I don’t catch him and make him my dinner.”
“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” he says, throwing my previous words right back at me as he pinches my cheeks.
I half-heartedly slap his hand away. “Fuck you.”
“Do you want to?” he teases, swimming back up to me, his hand firmly planted and rubbing soothing circles on my ass. “We could go back to my cabin.”
Something hits me at this moment. I have no idea why or where it came from, but it’s pain. It’s a deep, unflinching, irrevocable kind of torment. It’s out of the blue but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“What are we doing, Jarred?”
“I thought you were going to put that cock in my ass.”
“I mean…us.”
It’s something that I’ve wondered about that I haven’t wanted to bring up. I’ve been thinking about it for these last few days since Jarred confirmed that there never could really be anus. I thought I was fine with it. But tonight, under the moonlight, smiling and laughing, I can’t help but admit that I might not be.
Because I want this. I want this all the time. I’m falling for this generous mess of a man, and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m too weak to pull away from him, but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to see this through.
He's hesitant as his hand stills. “What about us?”
“It’s halfway through the summer,” I say gently, afraid that I’ll scare him off. “What are we going to do when it’s over?”
“I…” His cheeks lose their color. He tries to swim away from me, but I hold him tight, locking my legs around his thighs to keep him pressed against me. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Well, think about it,” I say, a little firmer this time, a little bit tinted with my own pathetic insecurities. I hate to pressure him, but I need to know. “Jarred.”
“I don’t know, Noah…” He trails off and pinches his brows together, looking so beautifully torn and tragically fragile. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you want this to end?”
“No,” he rushes out. Now he does plant his hands on both of my cheeks, rubbing my lip piercing, his eyes wide with terror. “No. I don’t.”
“Me neither.” I shudder at the thought of a future without him, at how attached I’ve gotten already. “How would that work?”
“UNC is only a few hours away. Maybe you could come and visit? Texting is a thing, even though I’m not that good at it.”
I’m too somber to point out that his age is the cause of that. “I mean…”
“What?”
It takes everything in me to breathe the following words. I hate how vulnerable it makes me sound. I’m supposed to be the strong one. I’m supposed to be the one that comforts him. I’m supposed to be the one that shields him from the ugliness of the world, but I feel like all that is crumbling at the pleading look in his eyes. “Am I going to be your dirty secret?”
“Noah,” he sighs, pressing a kiss to my nose as he shuts his eyes. “Baby…”
