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“We thought that camp would help you come to your senses about this new lifestyle of yours, but we didn’t realize that pervert would only make it worse.”
“He…he’s not a pervert,” I mumble because my first instinct is to come to his defense. “He’s gay. So, what?”
“What do you mean? We trusted that man to take care of you,” my mother snaps, throwing her hands up in the air. “All this time, he’s only been a deviant. We’re lucky that you didn’t come back as tainted as he is.”
“He’s not tainted,” I say through gritted teeth. “He’s actually pretty great.”
“You don’t have to defend the man,” my father says. “Faggots don’t deserve that. I swear, out of all the sick people in this world, we had to send you to a camp that had someone like him.”
The word has never stung before, but it does now. Jarred isn’t sick and he isn’t a deviant and he isn’t a pervert. Despite the things he said to me, he’s wonderful. He’s a wonderful human being who doesn’t know what he wants. This doesn’t make him a bad person. This doesn’t make him a leper.
My mother’s hand flies over her heart. “To think of what thoughts he could have poisoned those children with—”
And that makes me crack. The mere implication that Jarred would ever do anything to harm one of his campers getsto me. He’s dedicated his entire life to helping children grow and learn. He’s prided himself on his camp, which only ever brought people joy. He doesn’t deserve to be vilified.
I become angry once again. My natural defenses rise along with my hackles. I’ll still protect Jarred from anybody who dares harm him, even if he’s not present to hear it himself. I just love him that much.
“Enough!” I yell, slamming my hands on the table as I stand. “He didn’t do anything to the children! He didn’t do anything wrong!”
“How can you say that?”
“Because I was the one in the video with him!”
They both gasp in outrage. Their faces contort in a mixture of disbelief and revulsion. It looks like my father can’t quite believe it, but my mother turns on me in an instant. “So,you’reresponsible for ruining that man’s life?”
“Yeah,” I gulp. “I am.”
“Of course, it all comes back to you. Why do you insist on rebelling every chance you get? Why can’t you let God—”
“Holy fucking shit! Enough of God!” I shout because I can’t hear any more about Him. God’s been enough of a presence in my life for the last three months and I can’t fucking take it anymore. “I hate God!”
My father slams his hands on the table. “Noah Scott!”
“If you’re really as sick as you’re saying, you need to leave!”
I gape at my mother. “What?”
“You heard your mother! We did not raise you to be a faggot! We did not raise you to forsake God like this!” my father bellows, standing up to pull me roughly to my feet. “If you’re going to live in sin, you’re not going to do it under our roof!”
I’ve always known they never approved of me, but this still comes as a shock. I knew they threatened to stop paying for my college, but I never considered that they would kick me out.
But I realize slowly that I’m…relieved. If I really want to change, if I want to be better, if I want to move on with my life, I have to love myself. I have to put myself first. I have to realize that I’m worth more.
You’re everything to me.
And with his voice in my mind, I rip my arm away from my father. “Fucking gladly!”
I storm out of the kitchen and out of the house, away from all the hate I grew up with and with the promise of a brighter future without those leeches dragging me down. I might be a bit terrified that I don’t have a place to live and that I definitely don’t have a way to pay for school, but everything will be okay.
Because I chose me first.
My phone rings, and I pull it out of my pocket and answer it without looking. “Hello?”
“Noah? Christ, thank you for answering.”
I wish I had looked at the caller ID. This is the last thing I need right now. “Jarred. Goodbye—”
“Baby! Don’t hang up!”
