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But she just stood there.
viii.
SHE WATCHED HIMwalk down the hallway. She watched him open the door.
He was leaving, and she didn’t want that, but part of her was relieved. It was going to be so much easier without him.
Is it, though? Is it going to be easier to raise a baby all alone? Is it going to be easier to watch him fall in love with someone else? Because I can just tell he will someday, and if we’re co-parenting, I’ll have to watch it happen.
No, she was wrong. It wasn’t going to be easier without him.
It was going to besafer.
She was terrified, in the end.
Terrified of giving herself to someone again, anyone at all.
Not because women were owned in a relationship—at least not owned in a way that men weren’t—because that was what a relationshipwas.
It was becoming part of something else—the relationship came first, and both individuals came second.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like the idea. That was the entire reason she wanted to be pregnant, actually. She wanted to give herself to someone else entirely. She wanted to have a baby, someone to love, someone to devote herself to.
She knew… life didn’tmeanas much without someone else to devote yourself to.
That was part of being a person, was having love, having bonds, having connection.
But, well, she was afraid of it with a man.
Maybe because last time, she didn’t feel like she had a choice.
She’d been so young, and she’d seen Valdemar for the first time, across a crowded room. He’d looked up. Their gazes had met.
Her nipples had tightened. Her pussy had clenched. She was instantly wet and instantly horny for him.
And he had been coming for her, fighting his way through people, looking at her like she was everything he wanted in the entire universe.
One minute, she was on her own. The next, she was mated.
She got pregnant right away.
She lost the baby.
And then… it was just happening, the series of miscarriages and then Abigail and then the divorce and…
Voluntarily letting that happen to her again?
Love?
She wasn’t sure that wasn’t juststupid.
She took off after Gunnar. “Wait!” Her voice cracked.
He was closing the door, and he stopped, just a sliver of his powerful orc body visible. “Hey, Hiljd, whatever this is, let’s just sleep on it, and in the morning—”
“Can you promise me you won’t hurt me?” she whispered.
He opened the door wider. “Can you promise me?”
