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“Mmm,” she said. “They actually cook up pretty quick. I do them in the microwave sometimes, but they’re much better in a skillet.”
He put a few in and they sizzled and browned. “I know you’re not drinking coffee, but I was wondering if there is any?”
“I’ll do that,” she said.
“No, it’s fine. I can make my own coffee—”
“It’s just easier for me to do it. There’s a whole bunch of things to dig out. I hid the coffee maker because it made me too sad.”
“Why can’t you have coffee when you’re pregnant, anyway?”
“Well, you can, actually. But right now, it makes me ill, so I don’t even want it,” she said. “But I might be able to stomach it in the second trimester. You shouldn’t overdo it, but you can have a little caffeine. Right now, I just remember coffee and feel sad, though. And sadness, when you’re pregnant, it can be kind of intense. You know the cliches about sobbing over diaper commercials.”
He smiled at her. “Right. I’m sorry about the coffee.”
“Me too,” she said with a sigh. “But I want this baby so much.” She bent over and opened a cabinet and got out a coffee maker and a bag of coffee. She went to work next to him on the counter, getting it percolating. “So, I realize we’ve talked a lot about random things like society and the patriarchy and not enough about ourselves.”
“Hey, we talked about our pasts and stuff. It’s all connected.”
“I don’t know things about you,” she said. “Who’s Venna?”
“That’s my ex.”
“And really, why did you guys break up?”
He went back to the skillet. “We went over this last night.”
“Not really. I was being defensive.” She shrugged. “Maybe we both were.”
He considered. “It’s an easy thing to be. Man, romance is like a contact sport. You risk so much, put so much of yourself into it, and then… when it doesn’t work out, it’s like half your heart gets ripped out.”
“I wasjustthinking this,” she said.
“Yeah? Because I was, too, last night, while I was holding you, while we were falling asleep.”
“Me too!” She grinned at him. “We’re thinking the same thoughts. It’s like a bond.”
“Is that what the bond was like? Thinking similar thoughts?”
“Mostly emotions, really,” she said. “It could get confusing—which things were your feelings, which were his. It was intrusive and I hated it.”
“It kind of sounds awful, actually.” He thought about it.
“Maybe it was always meant to be us,” she said.
“I don’t believe that shit,” he said. “I believe in choice. I believe in working towards getting the things you want. I don’t believe in fate.”
“Me either,” she said, still smiling at him. “Anyway, falling in love is brutal. Your heart gets destroyed, and when it heals, it’s not the same.”
“Yeah, I think everyone feels like they just don’t want to risk it again,” he said. “They want to be sure… this time…”
They just gazed at each other.
“What happened with you and Venna?” she asked.
“She wasn’t happy that I was spending so much time at work, at my business.”
“Oh, yeah, I’ve been accused of being a workaholic,” said Hiljd, nodding. “I’m just passionate. You’re a business owner, so obviously you have to be at work. I think that makes sense. The important thing is simply that we both make sure to take time for each other and our daughter and for relaxation. But I think it’s a good thing to like your job, honestly.”
