Page 6 of If Only You Knew


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I pick it up and turn it over. Right there, printed neatly is his information,Shane Philips, CEO Greer Philips Security Services, 617-555-3887. But right above in his horrible writing, it says sprawled across,Future Coffee Date.

I drop the business card back into the lunch, close my eyes, and throw my head back against the headrest. This feels all too familiar and yet I can already feel my heart being tugged toward him. I open my eyes, looking for him along the street or sidewalk, but come up empty. Next, I grab my phone and call the first person I can think of.

Ellie’s voice comes over my car’s Bluetooth. “There’s my favorite bestie.”

I’m silent for a bit too long and Ellie’s tone changes drastically. “Becca, are you okay?”

I barely make out the word, “Shane,” before completely breaking down and sobbing.

ChapterFive

REBECCA

December 1994

I’ve been here for a little over three months, and it feels like I’m finally settling in. Ellie was right, we would be best friends. It was solidified even more after the first day of school when we discovered she also had a sibling, a sister, around Grant’s age. Upon picking me up from Ellie’s house one afternoon that first week of school, my mom began talking to Mrs. James, Janna, and they were fast friends.

There’s a squeal to my right and I see both my brother and Ellie’s sister, Laney, laughing at whatever strange thing toddlers find fascinating at that age. My mom and Mrs. James are in a deep conversation about something regarding hospital work.

My mom is an ICU nurse and quickly found a job at the local hospital. Turns out Mrs. James works admissions for inpatients at the same hospital. Who am I kidding? This hospital is the size of a button; there’s only one hospital in a fifty-mile radius.

Ellie grabs my attention, talking non-stop about how Jessica Millsper kissed Jesse McKinley, one of the boys from our P.E. class. If I needed the 4-1-1 on anyone at school, I could count on my bestie to have all the gossip. Ellie is everything I ever dreamed of in a friend.

She’s loyal, fun, and positive, something I didn’t realize I needed after my father died. And she gives me space when she sees me struggling with my feelings regarding my father’s death. I confided in her a few weeks into our meeting because I saw fathers dropping off their daughters for the fall dance and tears welled in my eyes. Ellie listened and it felt like she knew my father, even though that part of my life seems to have been left behind in California.

The holidays are a tough time for my mom and me, so having a new place to live, with new friendships, really does make things a little easier to bear. My heart still aches, but I have so much love around me that it’s hard to ignore these blessings of friendships from the James family.

Mr. James, Kirk, comes up with the goofiest smile on his face, holding the ugliest Christmas tree I’ve ever seen. It makes the Charlie Brown tree look like it should be sitting at Rockefeller Center. The moment Janna sees the monstrosity, she looks over to my mom and they both start laughing.

Both toddlers look between the adults while sitting in their strollers eating crackers and begin laughing as well. I simply smile because this pretty much sums up why we moved to Nebraska. It’s nice to see my mom genuinely laughing and building new relationships again.

I smile toward all the adults until I hear my name, or a version of it, and quickly look behind me to find Shane waiting for me to answer. I simply stare blankly at him because I did not catch anything he said beyond my name.

“What?” I ask so I don’t agree to a date with him without knowing it.

“I asked if you are stalking me?” He has that cocky smile again.

Gosh, this guy is gorgeous and he’s only fourteen. I’m in trouble. If he gets better looking with age, the next four years are going to feel like twenty. I am having a hard time not giving in to this pull we seem to have.

“No, Shane, as a matter of fact, I asked my mom to drive me to the tree lot outside of town, but apparently driving forty miles to buy a Christmas tree is a bit dramatic. Her words, not mine.”

This pulls a chuckle from him and I realize just how much trouble I’m in. I honestly am starting to like Shane Philips. As arrogant as he is, because he really is full of himself, there’s a tender side to him he is starting to let me see.

On multiple occasions, I have found little notes and items in my locker. Weeks before Thanksgiving, I found a little card that had a turkey holding a sign that said, “Order a Pizza.” I laughed at that one. With that reaction, he learned I liked corny jokes and had been leaving similar notes on my locker, and I am now looking forward to them when each day begins. I’ve been saving his little notes in an old shoe box under my bed, loving the little treasures to look back on every now and then.

Whenever I’m going to class or grabbing lunch from the lunch line, he’ll either hold the door or grab a tray for me. He’ll chat with me about classes we share and is taking the time to get to know me. He still asks me out any chance he gets, but he’s not letting my blatant refusal bring him down.

Before he or I have time to continue our conversation, Mom comes by and says hi to Shane. Shane catches the resemblance between my mother and me and quickly introduces himself.

“Hi. You must be Becs’ sister. I’m Shane.”

My mother’s cheeks blush and she extends her hand. Oh my gosh. Even my mom is falling for this act? Unbelievable.

“Nice to meet you, Shane. Do you go to school with Ellie and Becca?” Shane’s quick. I’ll give him that much. He smiles that same smile that is quickly winning me over. “Yes ma’am, I do. But I’m more than that.” Now he’s got my mom’s full attention even though my brother is now throwing crackers on the ground, wasting food which is one of my mom’s pet peeves.

“How do you mean you’re more than that?” Her curiosity taking the bait.

Shane looks at me for a mere second and turns his attention back to my mom.

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