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“Dad, these are not easy to find. How did you order these?”
She pulls her beanie off, the winter really showing us it’s here to stay a bit longer as the snow is falling down outside.
Hearing her call me Dad still causes me to pause. Since Becca and I parted ways all those years ago, I never imagined I’d have a child of my own. I envisioned so much of this when I was with Becs in high school, and I let go of that possibility as I got older.
I never truly felt a connection with another woman in that way. Now that I get to grow this relationship with my daughter, seeing her embrace me with open arms is something I never take for granted.
She puts the flowers down, and I arrange them where I think Becca will like them.
“Thanks for getting these, sweetie. They’re perfect. I had to order them a while ago, and I almost had to resort to fake ones. But the florist called a few days ago and somehow got a hold of some for me.”
Everything is set. I get a text from Becs that she’s headed home. Mallory hugs me around my waist, Jackson fist-pumps me, and Liv kisses my cheek. They run upstairs, but before they’re out of view, Liv looks over.
“She’s going to love it, Dad. I promise.”
She gives me a full smile, dimples and all, and my heart skips a beat. She’s the perfect mix of her mother and me, and I feel like the luckiest guy around to be a part of my daughter’s life.
I can’t sit still waiting for Becs to make it home. I’m fiddling with the projector and making sure everything is in its correct place.
I hear the door open and close, Becca complaining about the weather as she removes all her layers. I move to the bottom of the stairs, and soon she turns around to see me greeting her.
I’m waiting with a few of the purple roses in my hands, and I move forward to hand them to her and give her a kiss on her lips.
I can feel her smile against my lips, and the moment we pull away from one another, she asks, “What’s all this? It’s not an anniversary, is it?” I shake my head and smile.
“No, Becs. I just wanted to surprise you.” I lead her to the other room where everything is ready for her. The room is dark, aside from a few candles and the projector, lighting the ceiling with a million stars. Front and center of the projection are the cluster of stars that have always been ours, and I hear her suck in a breath. I look over to find her eyes pooled with tears.
“Come on, baby. Let’s lay down together like we did when we were kids.”
I grab her hand and I feel it trembling a bit. We get situated on our backs; our gaze directed to the ceiling. I make sure I have the remote for the projector and speakers in my hand as we lie side-by-side. She rests her head in the crook of my armpit, hugging my side, but keeping her gaze on the ceiling.
“I think this year has been the best one yet, wouldn’t you agree?”
I ask her as we lay there and soak in the projected stars. I feel her nod her head, but I can tell she’s too full of emotions to say much else. I begin to mess with the controller, first getting the music to turn on, playing my girl’s favorite nineties hip-hop, then the first image projects onto our indoor version of the night sky.
“Oh my gosh. Who styled me back then?” Becca says while she laughs with tears soaking my shirt. I can’t help but chuckle with her, as a picture of us from school stares back at us. I press the buttons, the whole sky beginning to fill with years’ worth of photos.
I include photos of us from every year of high school. Long summer days mixed in with cold winter nights. All the images include some of our favorite memories and people along the way. I keep going to include moments when she didn’t have me by her side, but memories, nonetheless, that signified beauty in her life.
Some of her pregnancy with Liv, which I cherish, along with baby photos of the twins with an excited big sister Olive holding them. I include photos of her in medical school and her graduation.
All the moments that led to this one right here. There are many times in our relationships when I find myself wondering what my life would be like if I went down another path. But I think that life is filled withif onlys, and we can't be caught up in that or we will miss so much of thenowhappening all around us.
At some point during the slideshow, Becca moves all the way on her back to keep her neck from cramping, and it gives me the opportunity to pull out the little velvet box from my pocket. She’s so focused on the images that I just watch her take it all in.
Once there are no more photos to share, she looks over, “Is that every—” and stops when she sees me moving up onto one knee.
She sits up and then she gets on both her knees. We are looking directly at one another, nearly at the same height, and I realize how much of a team we really are.
“Becs, the moment I saw your gorgeous eyes look up at me in that hallway all those years ago, I saw forever with you. And even though life threw us a couple of curveballs, when I reunited with you, I saw all my twists and turns in life align themselves because you are the only compass I need to navigate this world. You are the cluster of stars that keep my focus. You are the person I see growing old with. But most of all, I see everything when I look at you.”
I open the purple velvet box to reveal a cushion-cut solitaire, one that looked like her the moment I saw it in the display case. I remember when she envisioned my proposal, and I leaned into that memory to make tonight special. I always kept those details in my mind, hoping to one day make right for something I let go so wrong.
“Becs, will you do me the honor of walking the rest of this life together with me? Be my wife, Becca.”
The tears are flowing down her cheeks and she’s nodding, unable to get words out.
Soon I hear her croaked voice say, “Yes,” and I embrace her, kissing her a million times and telling her how much I love her in between.
