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Feeling a sense of calm and purpose I've never experienced before, I return to my car. I still have a lot to get through and some decisions to make, but I’ll take it one step at a time.
The one thing I will not take slow is making Roni a part of my future.
Chapter11
Roni
The days between Drew's diagnosis and the scheduled surgery have passed in a blur. Winter has arrived, covering the ground in a big blanket of white.
I've done my best to keep Drew distracted, keep him focused on the present instead of the future because I know he's worried about a life without football being the center of it.
It's been especially difficult to watch his team play. Drew roots for the team with a passion only he could possess, cheering them on and raging against the other players. When he's engaged, it's almost possible to pretend that the upcoming procedure is a distant thought.
But it's right around the corner.
Then as the game winds down and the announcer declares the winner, Drew always falls silent. He tries to keep his fear hidden from me, but I can see it in the depths of his brown eyes.
We're sitting in my living room, finishing a pizza as we watch tonight's game. Drew sits on the couch with me, and Mitch sits in the armchair. I can feel the tension radiating from both men tonight, and I don't know what to say to ease it. I want to tell him everything will be all right, but I can't guarantee it. Mitch has been trying to be so upbeat for Drew's sake, but now that surgery is only twenty-four hours away, it's become difficult for all of us to keep a happy face. I’m scared. I know they are as well.
I grab Drew's hand tight in mine, silently vowing to protect and be there for him, even if his future seems uncertain.
Thankfully, we’ve heard nothing more from his father. Good riddance. The man has disappeared. Drew doesn't need him in his life. The article we put out there pre-empted any attempts to extort more money. I hope, for Drew's sake, he stays away.
Finally, Drew speaks, breaking the silence. “What do you think is going to happen?” he asks, his voice strained with worry.
Mitch and I exchanged a glance.
“It's going to be okay,” I say, doing my best to sound reassuring, squeezing his hand. “The team Noah's put together is the best. You're in good hands.”
Drew gives me a weak smile and leans back against the armrest, taking a gut-deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I'm scared,” he admits, his words barely a whisper.
“Roni's right. Everything will work out.” Mitch provides his solid encouragement. “I'm not going to tell you that a shitload of guys before you have had this done.” He grins. “Okay, I guess I just did.”
He gets the laugh he was going for, but it's forced.
“It's true. I know every case is different, but the success rate is high.”
“Frankly, that's not what I'm worried about. I'm more concerned with what happens after.”
I've watched his highs and lows over the last few days. One day he's eager to get it over with and back out on the field. The next, he's worried that he'll never play again.
Mitch cocks his head. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that first game after the surgery. Or the fifth. Or the tenth. What happens if I'm hurt again?”
“That's a risk you take every time you step out onto the field.”
“I know. I guess...” Drew shrugs. “I'm not sure. Roni suggested that I work with the kids at the community center. Or maybe even start a football clinic.”
“I didn't mean right away, Drew. But I do think you would be great. Those couple of weeks we spent with them, they loved it. And because you spent years at the center yourself as a kid, you can relate to them. You could be a role model and make a real difference in their lives. But I didn't mean to suggest that you should retire before you need to.” Oh God, I hope he didn't think that. I would never ask somebody to give up something they love until they’re ready to.
“You didn't. But let's face it, I've already surpassed the typical career length of most players.”
“There are plenty of players your age and older,” Mitch states.
“I know. But I've had a great run. Maybe I should think about what's next for me. I've got plenty of years to give to a whole other career. Roni's proposition is not something I've thought about before, but it's not a bad idea. I've always enjoyed being around kids. During my rookie year, I spent some time volunteering at a children's hospital, and it was a rewarding experience.”
Mitch speaks up. “It's something to think about. You could start by volunteering a few hours a week and see how it goes. If it's something you enjoy, I can help you navigate the system, talk to somebody about making it a more permanent position, when the time comes.”
