What does he have to be sorry for?
“For?” I reiterate aloud.
Shifting in his seat, Gunz massages the nape of his neck. “Everything?... Fuck. I don’t… I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?” I seek clarification because he’s acting stranger than I feel, and that’s saying something.
“Sit next to a woman…” He clears his throat and even that’s sexy. “No…My… woman,” the man emphasizes.
Oh.
Damn.
“I’myours?”
“Yeah. Of course. We already agreed on that.”
Sure. In the middle of a traumatic moment, we did. People say and do all sorts of things they wouldn’t normally do in times of crisis. Right?Riiight?Are you nodding in agreement? I sure as hell hope so.
“Andthat’swhy you’re acting weird?” Again, more clarity is needed.
His too-handsome face scrunches into an equally too-handsome scowl. “No. I’m actin’ this way… ’cause I don’t wanna cross lines.”
Now we’re getting somewhere.
“What kinda lines?” I ask.
“Christ.” On a sigh, Gunz’s drops his head back onto the sofa, his eyes focused heavenward. “Okay… We’re doin’ this now… huh?”
Excuse me.
Huh…
What?
What?
Did he just say what I think he said?We’re doing this, now?He started this. Yes, I wanted to have a talk…eventually. That’s what you do as an adult. Talk. Communicate. But he’s fidgeting more than a kid hopped up on sugar, and I’m over here sweating in places I shouldn’t be sweating.
Taking the high road, my tone remains neutral as I pretend this is normal. That we’ve done this dozens of times before. “Sure. Why not? You have anything else you have to do today?” I shrug to appear indifferent, to play it cool. On the outside, the façade is effective. On the inside, I know I’m the biggest liar, liar pants on fire.
“Besides be with you… no.”
“Then have at it.” I gesture for him to let it all out.
“Do we sleep together, as in next to the other?” he blurts in a rush as if the words are gonna light his ass on fire.
Again, I play it cool. “That one’s easy. Yes.”
“See.” He speaks to the ceiling. “I didn’tknowthat. You … you know what you just went through… I need to be respectful of that. As a man… part of my anatomy… that finds you insanely fuckin’ sexy… wants to… ya know… dothings.” He motions toward his manhood. “But I get we won’t be doing any of that for a long while. Understandably so, which is why I need you to tell me what’s acceptable and what’s not. You set the boundaries. I respect the boundaries.”
That’s fair. Sweet and fair.
When I thought I couldn’t adore this man any more than I already do, he proves me wrong.
See, I told you, good guy.
Pulling a hand from underneath my blanket, I rest it on his thigh. The man shivers, literally freaking shivers on contact. I pretend not to notice. To set his mind at ease, I explain what I’m comfortable with. “Hold my hands. Touch my hands. All okay. Hugging me, also fine. I’m not gonna break, Gunz.”