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“Me, either.” I fly off the couch, ready, as Jace’s steely resolve gives me another burst of hope.
“Stop.” Axel’s booming voice freezes us both halfway to the front door. “Whatever groveling you two have to do is gonna go a whole lot better if you’re dressed.”
Jace and I look at each other, before looking down at ourselves. Then we speed walk to the bedroom to find clothes.
Chapter 27
Becca
Tearsmakemyvisioncloudy as I stumble into my apartment, but I’m too stubborn to let them fall. Not outside these four walls where anyone could see them.
I’m such a fool.
I want to call Liz and cry my heart out, but don’t feel like hearing theI told you sospeech, especially because when she said someone would get hurt, I’m pretty sure we assumed it would be one of the guys, not me. Yet here I am, alone andheartbroken. Flopping on the couch, I bury my head in a throw pillow.
It was futile to think I could sleep with them and not develop feelings. Some part of me knew that all along, yet I did it anyway. I let myself believe it was strictly curiosity, having a good time, but the truth is I wanted more time with both Blake and Jace than the one night I’d had with each, and I convinced myself I could have that without consequences because Iwantedto.
Now, having ignored my common sense, I’m right back where I started when I got here. Worse, because instead of looking forward to a new job and a new town, I’m dreading having to face both. This mistake will be staring me in the face at every turn, and there’s nowhere to hide.
Hiding.
Hiding in plain sight is more like it. How did I not see there was something between them? Was the idea of them being so comfortable during sex such a turn on that I didn’t question it. Or maybe I just didn’t want to contemplate the answer. But after seeing them together, hearing them confess their feelings, I feel like a fool for missing the obvious. And to top off my embarrassment, they’re actually beautiful together. The way they were looking into each other’s eyes, like they were the only two people in existence. It made my heart swell even as it started to ache.
Somehow in this mess I’d been foolish enough to believe they looked at me like that too. Clearly, that was a figment of my imagination. They were probably looking at each other and I got in the way. Claimed those looks as my own instead of something they meant for each other.
The velvety pillow muffles my scream.
I’ve never been so humiliated. Or felt so alone. Not even Brian left me feeling this empty. At least he cheated on me behind my back instead of bringing me into his sordid affairs. And he never went out of his way to make me feel cherished, lulling me into a false sense of affection.
When am I going to learn?
There was never going to be a happy ending here. I should be grateful it’s over now, instead of months or years down the road, when my heart was well and truly theirs.Oh, who am I kidding? It’s already theirs.
I drag my wrist across my face, wiping away the tears and snot before they trickle to my lip.
No wonder my relationships fail. For a moment there, I actually wondered if I could have them both.Stupid. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I’m pretty sure the whole town is about to realize exactly what—whom—I’ve been doing since I got here.Brilliant.
A sharp rap on the door interrupts my pity party, and I cautiously sit up, wondering if that knock was real or imagined since no one has ever come by before. Then it sounds again, more urgent this time, and a strained voice seeps through the cracks.
“Becca? We’re here, and we only need a minute. Please, will you open the door?”
I’m not ready to face them. Not with puffy eyes, a runny nose, and enough humiliation to make my face even more pink than my hair. But living in employee housing means this place is full of employees—my co-workers—who absolutely do not need to know the depths of my depravity or delusions.
Moving swiftly to the door, I open it just wide enough that they don’t have to shout through it.
“Oh, thank God,” Blake exhales. “We know you might not be ready to hear it, but when you are, there’s a lot we have to say.” He licks his lips nervously. “About the three of us.”
Next to him, Jace shuffles from one foot to the other. “We just needed you to know that. So, please, before you tell us to fuck off, please let us tell you everything. When you’re ready.”
I’ve never seen either of them so distressed before, and despite the fact that they deserve to grovel fora lotlonger, my soft heart hates seeing them this way, even after what they did. I open the door wide enough for them to pass through, and with a startled glance at each other, they do.
Closing the door, I spin to find Jace’s hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets, while Blake wrings his in front of him. Keeping my face carefully blank, I walk to the couch and sit down, each of them taking a seat next to me.
Blake reaches for me but freezes his arm before he can make contact, dropping his elbows to his knees and twisting his fingers together. I arch my eyebrow, waiting.
“I uh…” he starts. “Until this morning I’ve been in the closet. No one but Jace knew I’m bisexual. It’s not something I’m ashamed of, although I was willing to take the easy way out by not saying anything until I met the person I wanted to spend my life with.” His eyes dart briefly to Jace, I assume since I heard them confessing their love earlier, before coming to rest on me.
Blake licks his lips and continues. “If that person was a woman, I’d never have to say anything, and if it was a man I’d come out. Looking back I can see how that wasn’t fair to the people I care about, but I spent years believing that was the best solution, so I didn’t question it. And I especially didn’t question whether more than one person could be right for me.”
