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Is he trying to justify sleeping with me despite loving Jace?
“I’ve been out for a long time.” Jace bounces his leg as his gaze darts from it to me. “Out as bi, I mean, and I was always pretty open to the idea that I might one day find a man—and a woman—I wanted to be with. It’s not something I sought out, but if I let myself daydream about my future that’s what it looked like. I connected with Blake right away, and I moved here knowing he could be that man. Wanted him to be, actually.” Jace shoots Blake a sheepish smile before focusing his gaze on me.
I spin to see Blake’s reaction and find him nodding solemnly. “Great. You two are in love. Is that supposed to make me feel better about sleeping with you? You weren’t cheating on each other or anything since you were both there?”
“No, it’s…” Jace scrubs a hand down his face. “Let me finish. I found Blake, and things were going really good. Great actually. Then you got here, and suddenly that future daydream I’d always had in the back of my mind started to feel like it could be real. But I didn’t know how to tell you I wanted Blake much less the two of you together, and since we’d both already had a sexual relationship with you, that seemed like a good place to start.”
“But sex was only supposed to be the way we approached wanting more, because we thought asking you to date both of us at once might send you running the other direction.” Blake jumps in. “We never meant to imply that’s all we wanted.”
So, sex was a way to lead into me being their girlfriend?
It pains me to admit, but their logic isn’t as backward as it sounds. If they led with dating, I would’ve scoffed and told them they were crazy. By leading with sex, they made things casual enough to be comfortable, and opened the door for my feelings to grow. However, understanding their motives doesn’t mean I agree with them. They still manipulated me, however innocent their intentions may have been in their minds. They used sex to drive my feelings and hid the fact that they were together all along. Even though I was starting to wonder if there was a way I could avoid having to choose between them, learning that I’m theadd onto their couple is a hard pill to swallow.
Blake runs a hand through his already ruffled hair. “We should have told you this sooner, and it’s my fault we didn’t.”
“Ours,” Jace interrupts.
“You agreed to it, but I’m the one who was holding out.” Blake turns his guilty gaze to me. “You’re new to town, you’ve got a new job, and I know those things are challenging enough without adding us to the mix.” He draws a line between he and Jace. “I wasn’t sure you’d jump at the chance to go public about dating two guys. And selfishly, that let me hide who I am a little longer, while I tried to wrap my head around my feelings.”
“What’s there to wrap your head around? I heard you say you love Jace.”
“I do. But he’s not the only one.” The corner of Blake’s lip tips up in a bashful smile.
“That’s what we’re trying to tell you, honey.” Jace cups his hand around my neck and strokes my cheek. “We love you, too. Blake and I may have started out as a couple, but once we discovered that we’d both been with you, and we both felt drawn to you the same way we did to each other, we knew we wouldn’t be complete without you. We just didn’t know how to express what you mean to us, and we let sex be the cop out until we thought you were ready to hear the truth.”
“You thought I’d object to the two of you being together?” My heart sinks.When did I give them the impression I don’t approve of gay—bi—men?
“We thought we might scare you off if we told you how serious we are about you.” Jace reaches for my hand, and though I’m still leery of what they’re saying, I let him take it. “Our feelings for you were pretty intense right from the start. And by the start I don’t mean when you moved here, I mean when we first met you.”
“That was…” My mouth falls open as I stare at Jace, dumbfounded.
“A year ago. Yeah.” I swear his cheeks turn pink with that admission. “Blake’s the fate guy, but having the two of you here—the only two people I’d ever wanted to make something real with—that’s a sign even I couldn’t ignore. The three of us…I want it more than anything.”
“So, you’re saying I’m not the side piece in your...” I wave my hand around as I search for the word I want. “Couple?”
“You’re the piece that holds us together,” Blake says softly. “Or, we want you to be.”
I open and shut my mouth, then open and shut it again. “Can that really work?Threepeople?” I may have been fantasizing about that a little this morning since I’d developed feelings for both men, and couldn’t imagine having to choose between them. But I don’t think I was taking that fantasy seriously. I mean…three people?
“It was working, wasn’t it?” Blake shrugs sheepishly. “The three of us compliment each other. You and Jace are brave where I’m practical, you and I are social where he’s independent, and he and I can be idiots where you’re smart. The fact that we’re having this conversation is proof.”
I press my lips together to contain my grin—Blake’s self-deprecating humor really is charming—though he’s making this sound much simpler than it is. Things may have been working in the bedroom, but what happens when we step out of it? Will we be shunned by the town? Will my job be in jeopardy? Will my sister accept or even tolerate my lifestyle?
“Plus,” Jace continues before I can finish my thoughts, “we all have an adventurous side that likes to explore and soak up the outdoors. Plenty of two-person couples don’t fit together as well as the three of us do.”
My history with Brian is evidence of that. Still, what sounds good in theory can’t be this easy in practice. Can it?
“Becca,” Jace starts, “Blake and I love each other, and we love you. The question is, do you think you could love us?”
Putting aside the external factors—my job and my reputation—that I should consider, I can honestly say I have feelings for both men. Feelings that originated from the time I met each of them, and which grew over these past several weeks, enough so that I was starting to panic over how to navigate them without hurting anyone.
Regardless of how unconventional this is, both Blake and Jace have touched my spirit in a way no one else has, simply by accepting me for who I am. I’ve never felt inadequate with them, never doubted my own mind. I can truly be myself with them, something I’ve rarely felt with anyone else, even Liz, who despite being my biggest supporter never quite got me the way Blake and Jace do. Is that love? It’s more than I ever felt for Brian, who I did think I loved, so yeah. It may make me slightly crazy, but I do think I can love them both. I’m halfway there already.
“Yes.”
The word barely passes through my lips before Jace’s are on me, soft and savoring. Then Blake tilts my chin toward him and takes his turn, showing me the depth of the feelings in his heart. Back and forth, they take turns worshiping me with their mouths; confessing their regrets, begging forgiveness, and pledging their love. It’s poignant, and emotional, and touches my very soul. It’s also them and me, not the three of us.
Pulling back, I cup each of their faces in my palm. “Now you two.”
