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‘When did you find this out?’ Kirsty asked gently.
‘A couple of weeks ago.’
‘What did Max say?’
Emma shook her head and wiped away the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. She gratefully accepted a tissue from Kirsty. ‘Here we go again,’ she said, trying to make light of crying again. ‘He doesn’t know. How can I tell the man I am about to marry that I might not be able to have children?’
‘Oh, Emma,’ said Kirsty, reaching to put her arm around her.
Amy moved closer and the two of them hugged her as she allowed the tears to freely fall. ‘I’m sorry’, she said, wiping her face with the tissue. ‘I thought I had done all my crying. I didn’t think I had any tears left.’ She exhaled. ‘I feel sick about it and dreadful that I’ve not told him, but I know I need to, and I must speak to him before the wedding.’
The sisters sat in silence for a moment, watching the sun begin to dip in the sky in front of them, the colours changing rapidly.
‘This is better than watching TV,’ said Amy, trying to lighten the mood but her comments fell on deaf ears.
‘Is there anything else the doctor can do?’ said Kirsty, with her practical head on.
‘Yes, she said she will refer me for further tests to find out what’s going on . . . I know we can go to a fertility clinic and explore our options. But I just don’t know if that’s what I want to do. We have watched so many friends go through IVF, and it’s been so stressful for them and has put a huge strain on their relationship. Look at Ruth and Oliver. There’s no guarantee that it would work either. We always said we wouldn’t do it.’
‘So you’ve had the “what if” conversation with Max, then?’ Kirsty asked.
Emma nodded, her voice deflated as she said, ‘Yes, we have. A while ago . . . but he may now think differently when he realizes it’s not a “what if” conversation but a highly-unlikely-to-happen situation.’
‘Oh, Emma,’ said Amy. ‘From what we know about Max, that doesn’t sound like him at all.’
Emma gave a sad smile. ‘I love him so much and I can’t imagine my life without him. But,’ she said, her voice wobbling, ‘I really think I’ve got to give him the option to walk away if he wants to.’
‘No wonder you’ve been feeling so emotional,’ said Kirsty. ‘That’sa lotfor you to have been carrying around on your own.’
‘I suppose so. But you just do what you need to do, don’t you?’ It was starting to grow colder, and Emma reached for her hoodie and pulled it on.
‘Come on,’ said Kirsty. ‘Let’s get everything packed up and get you home for a warm shower. It’s been a long and emotional day for you.’
‘It has,’ agreed Amy. ‘I think you should have an early night.’
Emma nodded, aware her sister was trying to be helpful, but no amount of sleep would fix the predicament she was now in. At least she felt a sense of relief that she had shared this with her sisters. There was a lot of wisdom in the saying that a problem shared is a problem halved.
‘It won’t feel like this forever,’ said Amy. ‘I promise.’
Emma smiled at her. ‘I can feel another Mum saying coming on.’
Amy laughed. ‘Yip. This too shall pass . . .’
The sisters hugged and there was something magical about the moment, almost as though their mum was beside them. They gathered up their belongings and slowly walked back up the gentle slope of the sands towards the car.
‘It will be okay,’ said Kirsty, reassuringly.
Emma smiled sadly. ‘I hope so.’
She looked back towards the horizon just as the sun started to dip. The sky was awash with shades of deep pink and orange. ‘I will tell Max. When he gets here, I will tell him everything.’
Chapter Thirty
The past few days had passed in a bit of a blur as the girls rallied together to make sure everything was ready for the wedding. Amy was relieved that their dad seemed to be quite focused on Emma’s big day and he was spending more time in the garden with Tom as they discussed the most likely flower choice for the bouquets. She had really enjoyed getting to know Becky more, who was loving having both aunts in the house at the same time.
Emma had decided against having an official make-up artist to do her wedding face and instead had asked Becky to do some trial runs. This morning, Amy had watched as Becky deftly and expertly applied the lightest of make-up to them all, which transformed them, giving them luminous complexions. Emma had even agreed to do some yoga with Amy and the previous day had let her do a reflexology massage on her feet which definitely seemed to relax her.
Amy noticed Emma becoming increasingly pensive as the day went on and Max’s arrival drew closer. She knew her sister had plenty to think about and the sooner she was able to speak properly to him, the better. She could understand why Emma was nervous, but she had a feeling everything would be okay.
