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‘What are you saying?’ He took a mouthful of waffle and closed his eyes as he savoured the taste. ‘Heavenly. Sorry, darling, I am listening.’ He focused his attention back completely on Amy.
She took a deep breath. ‘I need to break up with Ross. Does that make me a terrible person?’
Josh reached across the table and squeezed her hand. ‘It makes you human and brave and honest.’
Amy gazed at Josh, a wave of affection washing over her. He always knew what to say. No wonder they were such good friends. He was always so calm and kind in a crisis. ‘Thank you. What would I do without you? Thanks for listening as always.’
‘Hey,’ he said, smiling. ‘You would do the same for me. And have done. Think of all those late-night chats we had about Andy in the early days.’
She laughed as she thought back to the angst and worry he’d had over his relationship and whether he was doing the right thing when he met Andy. The two friends used to sit up late discussing every detail of their dates and conversations together, analysing every text and email and comment. Those were special times when life just seemed simpler.
He rolled his eyes at her.
‘I know,’ she said, ‘But look at you now. Stronger than ever. I am so happy things worked out for you guys.’
Josh beamed. It was lovely seeing him so settled and in love. That was what she wanted for herself. A balanced and respectful relationship where they gave each other space to be themselves. She didn’t want to settle for second best. She wanted to be honest and be true to herself and if that meant being on her own then she was more than happy with that.
He gave her a sympathetic look. ‘When will you tell him?’
‘Soon.’ She blurted the word out before she could change her mind. ‘It has to be soon. I mean, my flight’s booked.’
‘Well, you know you’re very welcome to come and stay at ours if you need to.’
‘Thanks,’ she said gratefully.
‘Have you told him that you’re going?’
‘To the wedding?’ She shook her head. ‘No. He doesn’t even know my sister’s getting married, nor that he’s been invited as my plus one.’
Josh dropped his fork. ‘Oh, crikey. What are you going to tell him?’
She pulled a face and thought for a moment. ‘I am just going to have to be honest and speak to him. Sooner rather than later.’
‘Are you sure you’re going to be okay?’ he asked again, flashing her a kind smile.
‘Yes, I will be and thank you. Knowing you have my classes covered is great.’
‘No problem at all and take as long as you need to. I’ll cover them for however long you’re away.’
Now probably wasn’t the time to grab his offer. Although she had provisionally asked Josh to cover her for two weeks, she wanted to wait until she was home before she made any final decisions about what she was going to do.
‘Are you nervous about going back?’ he asked now.
‘I am. More than I thought I would be. It’s been a couple of years. Well, since Mum’s funeral,’ she said sadly. ‘I’ve missed my sisters and my dad and, well, I guess he’s not getting any younger either. But I’m excited, too. It feels like a bit of a calling. I’m desperate to smell the air and see the Scottish grass.’
Josh burst out laughing. ‘I didn’t realize that was a thing.’
‘It’s hard to explain. It’s green and mossy and damp and smells of wet leaves and . . .’
‘I get the picture . . . kind of,’ he said. ‘You miss wet, damp outdoorsy stuff.’ He pulled a face. ‘It sounds like it will be a bittersweet trip with your mum not there, but at least the wedding will be a really positive focus.’
She looked at him. ‘Exactly. Now eat up before that plateful goes cold.’
‘Cheers,’ he said, knocking his smoothie against her mug.
Amy felt a wave of sadness ripple inside her. She would really miss him when she left. That was the thing, too, she really didn’t know if she would be coming back at all.
Chapter Six
