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‘The wedding is in . . .’ His voice trailed away.
Kirsty noticed Steve raising an eyebrow at her. ‘It’s in June,’ she said, trying her hardest not to sound frustrated. ‘A few weeks to go so there is plenty of time.’
He smiled, seemingly reassured, but Kirsty could tell he was worried. She leaned back in her chair and took a sip of water, thinking about her own wedding day and what a brilliant speech he had given then. She could remember every word of it as though it was last week. Her parents had been so proud that their oldest daughter was getting married, and she had floated about on cloud nine and enjoyed every minute of the attention.
When it came to the speeches, he stood up from his chair and toasted everyone with a glass of bubbly and then proceeded to talk about how much he loved his girls and how proud of each and every one of them he was. He spoke of how blessed they were when Kirsty arrived in their life and how he was thrilled that she had found such a wonderful husband in Steve. She remembered wiping away the tears of happiness that had pooled in her eyes as she listened to him, Mum smiling up at him in adoration. She hoped now that he would be able to say something that Emma could always cherish, and she vowed to make sure she helped him pen a few words.
‘Right kids, you can do the washing-up,’ said Steve, clapping his hands.
‘What about pudding?’ said Tom, eyeing up the chocolate cake that his sister had baked earlier.
‘You can have some when you’ve helped me tidy up,’ said Becky, scowling at her brother.
Kirsty looked at them briefly, scarcely able to believe that the twins were now approaching their eighteenth birthdays and would be leaving home after the summer holidays. Becky was going to Dundee to study dentistry and Tom had an apprenticeship lined up with the Forestry Commission in Perthshire. They’d always been completely different and quite independent of each other. However, she wondered how it would feel to be living in different places. They’d finished their final few exams earlier in May, and she hadn’t seen much of them since. They were both busy working, desperate to earn money to fund their way off the island. Kirsty, Emma and Amy had all been exactly the same when they were younger. She didn’t even want to think about the house without them in it. She decided to park that in a corner of her mind until after the wedding.
‘This is nice,’ said her dad to Steve, as he chewed a piece of cake.
‘Becky made it. I can’t take credit.’
‘It’s Gran’s recipe,’ said Becky.
‘She was a good baker, wasn’t she?’
‘She was, Gramps.’
‘I wish she could come to the wedding.’
Kirsty could feel a well of tears building up behind her eyes. ‘She will be with us in spirit I’m sure, Dad.’
‘We all miss her.’ Becky reached over and squeezed his hand.
Kirsty smiled gratefully at her daughter and tried to ignore that constant feeling of dread that seemed to be permanently lurking in her stomach.
Chapter Five
Amy sat back in her seat after she’d said the words and watched Josh frown. ‘But you seemed to have made a great life for yourself here. I had no idea that you had been feeling like this, darling.’
They always ate brunch together after classes on Fridays. However, they’d both cancelled the last couple of weeks. She had suggested to Ross, several times, that they could invite Josh and his partner, Andy, to the house for dinner or lunch especially as they had the outdoor space and the huge BBQ. However, Ross always seemed to have an excuse not to.
Amy frowned. ‘It’s been swirling about in my head for a while and, you know me, I like to think about stuff before I talk about it.’
Josh nodded. ‘I know, I get that. I do.’
‘I guess with my sister’s wedding, it’s making me think about home a lot. Dad isn’t getting any younger and, well, maybe things have changed. I’ve loved my time here. I wouldn’t have met you, Josh, if I hadn’t come here. But with Ross . . . well, I feel . . .’ Her voice trailed away as she tried to figure out what she was trying to say. ‘I feel constrained. Suffocated. He always wants to know where I am. It’s just making me want to bolt. That’s the reality.’
‘Whoa, okay,’ he said, clasping his hands together and leaning in towards her. ‘I wasn’t expecting that.’
They were sitting in a booth in their favourite brunch spot in Yaletown. Amy smiled at the waitress as she delivered a huge plate of the most delicious and wholesome food she had seen for a while: fresh mashed avocado with tomato jam on sourdough bread.
‘I have been so used to having my own freedom without having to answer questions about where I am or who I’m with. I’m only just beginning to realize how much I hate it when he needs to know my every move.’ She took a sip from her almond milk latte then frowned as her phone buzzed. ‘That’s the fifth text message from him this morning.’
Josh shook his head. ‘That is alot. I totally get where you’re coming from. I couldn’t stand it if Andy was like that. He respects my freedom and I give him space too. If he was needy that would be it. I had no idea Ross was so clingy.’
‘Neither did I until recently. I just thought he was attentive. Then I started to feel hemmed in . . . How’s your smoothie?’ Amy pointed at the glass of green sludge which contained spinach, avocado, pineapple and chia seeds.
‘It balances out what is about to come,’ he said, smiling. Just then the waitress placed down his plate piled high with Belgian waffles, berries and drizzled with maple syrup. ‘Could I have some extra syrup please?’ he asked. He waited until she had walked away. ‘Never know why they skimp so much on it. This isCanada. We should be swimming in the stuff.’ He looked over at Amy, his face etched with concern. ‘You need to do what’s right for you. Maybe the trip back home will do you good? It may give you some space to think and work out what it is you really want, my love?’
She rested her fork against her plate. ‘That’s the thing, Josh. I know what I want and what I don’t want.’
