AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘We were out skiing . . . on a horrible day. It was blustery and conditions weren’t great. I didn’t want to go but she insisted. She was very headstrong,’ he said. ‘She would have gone regardless and there was no way I could let her go alone. I thought I could look after her . . .’ Amelia moved to sit beside him, reaching over to clasp his hand. She squeezed it as he continued to talk.
‘She fell and hit her head. Even though she wore a helmet, the impact was too much . . . she died two days later.’ Now Fergus wiped away his tears. Amelia handed him a tissue.
‘I’m so sorry, Fergus. I had no idea.’
‘It was awful. And I blamed myself. Nobody else did. Just me. I kept thinking if we hadn’t gone out it wouldn’t have happened.’ His voice broke with the emotion.
‘Oh, Fergus, you mustn’t think that. Ellen sounded like she was independent. As you said, she would have gone regardless. You couldn’t have known what was going to happen. It was a tragic accident.’ She gripped his hand. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said again. ‘There are no words for what you’ve been through.’
Fergus appreciated the way she was holding his hand andreallylistening to him. ‘Her parents were great and told me not to blame myself, that she had always been stubborn. They said she died doing something she loved and she was happy. I tried to stay on for a while afterwards because I felt close to her there, you know? But I saw pity in people’s eyes. That’s why I left and came back.’ He looked gratefully at her and cleared his throat. ‘Sorry, Amelia. I bet this wasn’t what you were expecting?’
‘I’m glad you are comfortable enough to tell me. And I’m grateful for your friendship, Fergus. At a time when life has been a bit crap, you have helped coax me out of my shell.’
He smiled. ‘Well, you’re a fairly easy friend. You’re not too high maintenance.’
‘Hey,’ she said. ‘I’m not high maintenance at all!’
Looking at his watch, he stood up. ‘I’d better go. I’ve got an early class in the morning.’
‘You’re welcome to stay here if you want some company?’ said Amelia. She blushed. ‘I didn’t mean it like that!’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘Edie would kill me. And accuse me again of a dirty stopover . . . when she means stop out.’
His joke lightened the mood and they both laughed.
‘Well, thanks, Fergus, I appreciate you.’
He pulled her towards him and nestled his chin on the top of her head. They both stood for a moment, then he softly kissed her on the hair. She felt so comfortable and warm in his arms.
‘I’ll catch you soon,’ he said, gradually drawing away.
‘Goodnight,’ said Amelia.
As Fergus walked home, he realised he had managed to share his story with someone else and survive, and he was actually okay. Though a small voice in his head told him that was because Amelia was kind and warm. He smiled.
Chapter Thirty-Six
The following day, Amelia couldn’t stop thinking about Fergus and the story of Ellen’s death. Poor man. What a horrendous thing to go through. Her impending divorce paled into insignificance. It made her realise that things could have been so much worse. At least Declan hadn’t died and they had started married life on a high.
She thought of their honeymoon in Italy, when they’d spent a glorious fortnight on a romantic adventure. They’d spent a weekend in Rome exploring the Vatican and the Coliseum, and eating in small restaurants tucked off the tourist trail. Then they’d flown to Sardinia, with its breathtakingly beautiful beaches and turquoise waters, where they swam and snorkelled. Declan had seemed tense in Rome and she’d wondered if his mood had been post-wedding exhaustion. The crowds exacerbated his mood, and it was only when they’d got to the island beach resort that he'd started to unwind. Those days were when they’d been at their best. They’d spent lazy days on the beach with siestas in the afternoon when the sun became too hot to bear. On their last evening, they’d enjoyed a candlelit dinner on the terrace and afterwards he’d reached out and put his arms around her. She’d melted into his embrace and it had been the perfect moment. She’d wished they could stay forever. He’d even told her he didn’t want to go back to London. She’d dismissed his comments at the time. That was normal, wasn’t it? Everyone felt like that when they’d had a great holiday and the prospect of the drudgery of real life loomed. Looking back, she realised it was when they’d returned that the cracks had started to appear. Even thinking about those happier days made her feel the familiar prickle of tears behind her eyes.
He’d started working later and later, as though he was avoiding her, and she couldn’t work out what she had done wrong. Things had been so good on their honeymoon. Admittedly, things weren’t great between them those last few weeks because of his avoidance tactics, but his departure note had still knocked the wind out of her sails.
She gave herself a shake. There was no point feeling sorry for herself. She decided she would take Edie’s car and head over to the other side of the island today.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Edie woke up with a knot of anticipation and dread in her stomach and she couldn’t immediately work out why. She gave a huge sigh when she remembered what was happening today. Fergus was taking her over to Glasgow to visit Christine. It was time to make peace and say their goodbyes. As she lay there staring at the ceiling, she sent up a silent prayer for support to help her through the day. Taking a few slow, meditative breaths in and out, she reminded herself that she would work through this. After everything she had been through in her life she had learned she was stronger than she ever thought she could be. And she had to stay strong today for Christine. This was about her sister and doing what was right for her at this moment.
Edie realised that when she’d learned of her sister’s illness, all the anger she’d harboured towards her had disappeared. What was the point? Instead, sadness had replaced the rage. Molly seemed to sense something as she moved close and licked her hand.
‘What would I do without you, old girl?’ she said, stroking the velvety fur behind her ears. ‘Come on, let’s go downstairs and you can have your breakfast.’ Molly’s ears perked up and she stood up, did a quick downward dog stretch, then leaped onto the floor. Wagging her tail, she led the way down the stairs and waited to be let out.
Edie opened the door, breathing in the sea-salt-tinged air, and Molly shot outside. Edie stood for a moment, waiting for her to return, and just took a few slow, deep breaths. She went into the kitchen and filled the kettle, absent-mindedly looking at the photo of Jim.
What would you say, Jim? If you were here with me right now, what would you advise? If only I understood why, Jim? Why my sister? And what would you do now?
She made a pot of tea and took it over to the window seat where she gazed out at the dawn sky. She warmed her cold hands on the cup. This time she was drinking from a seashell-themed mug, which she’d glazed in shades of blue. Although just after eight, the sky was unseasonably bright.
