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She lets out a laugh, winking at me. “So, you’re saying you’re the bad apple?”
Okay, so she won that, too.
“No,” I begin, trying to pull the upper hand I walked into so quickly. “I’m the one good apple in the bunch being brought down by all the rotten ones around me, and I can’t help but deal with that gnat, though it’s not my fault he’s buzzing around.”
Her hand reaches out and touches my arm. She’s my first and only, and I love her, but I’ve begun to question if I’m in love with her. Lately, there’s no spark with Jen and our physical connection, and it makes me wonder why.
“Okay, for creativity, you win that one. I must hand it to you, babe, you’re a quick thinker. Good comeback.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I sense a pair of eyes on me. The steely blue orbs, his signature scowl, along with his manicured nails, and blond hair without a piece out of place will continue to be the bane of my existence for the next three years. I jerk my attention toward the asshole. He looks away without acknowledging how he’s been staring at me, and like the gnat he is, I know I’ll never get rid of him. At this point, he’s immune to being swatted out of the way.
* * *
Third yearof law school
I don’t understand how anyone can find Xander Lynol lovable. But after an easy six to seven years, he and his boyfriend are still together.
We’ve spent the last three years in the same concentration at Yale. I wonder if we’re the same person but with entirely different personalities. Even I have found in the past year I like men. One difference, I still like women, too. And my woman, my on-and-off-again woman, finds me in the crowd of people before my family.
“Can you believe it, baby?” She throws herself at me, wrapping her legs around my waist, all in her cap and gown.
“Fuck, yeah, baby.” I love this girl, but then again, as I suspected during the first year of law school, I’m not in love with Jennifer Laney anymore.
“God, baby. I’m so happy. And we’ll both be in Minneapolis.”
It’s a good thing, but yet, I’ve never explained my change of feelings to her. It’s not because I now find myself attracted to men. And the guy I was with last night rocked my fucking world. It was our present to ourselves as we snuck away from the party we attended last night. Jen asked me where I’d gone, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was with another. Not like we’re together. We’re best friends and sometimes share a passionate night but I know one thing—I can’t lose her as my best friend. The same person from last night, a fellow graduate, takes the time to sidle up next to me as we exchange a knowing look.
“Hey.” His voice is husky, and he’s standing too close to be classified as simply an acquaintance. But Jasper Sinclair is moving to New York, and I’m returning to Minnesota. Still, he’ll be fun for another night or two until I return home.
“Hey to you.” And we both exchange winks.
“Ah, now I know where you snuck out to last night,” Jen says, a little bit of hurt lacing her voice. It was the first time I understood not only was I a little kinky, but I liked men, and Jen and I enjoyed sharing and being watched together.
“Sorry, Jen,” Jasper says, bringing her in for a side hug. “I’m all gay. Or it would have been fun with you, I’m sure.”
She blushes. Not many know of our arrangement, mine and Jen’s, but Jasper is a friend of both of us. And though I knew he was gay, I think Jen had hoped the three of us could share something one night.
“No worries.” She kisses his cheek, her eyes locking in on someone in the crowd. “There are my folks. See you two later.”
I haven’t officially come out as bi, and honestly, it’s no one’s business. Jasper understands my feelings and backs off a little. This is not the time to tell my parents, though they won’t bat an eye. Their love for me is unconditional, unlike that of the Lynol family. I watch Xander coil at his father’s touch on his shoulder, because he and Daddy Warbucks don’t get along, after all.
“There’s my baby brother, the lawyer!” JJ yells as Liz catches my attention and waves my way and I return the sentiment. Out of nowhere, my brother’s strong arms—he’s even larger than me—wrap around my body.
I spin around, and Ma and Dad follow him. Jasper begins to leave, but my words stop him. “Don’t leave. Meet my parents, would you?”
I found out last night that Jasper has no one at today’s ceremony.
“Sweetheart…” My ma’s arms extend before she reaches me. “I’m so proud of you.”
My father, with his brown curls, embraces my ma and me.
“Yeah, son, I’m so very proud of you, too.” Jackson Farmer is a lot of things, but overly emotional isn’t one of them, and yet I see a tear in his eyes. “I’m treating you to the best steak in the city, son. So, what do you say?”
They back away, yet Jasper stays right by my side. “Sounds fantastic, but first, I want to introduce you to a good friend.” Could I call Jasper a good friend? Jen and I are closer, but once you have your dick in someone’s ass, it automatically makes you a good friend.
“Ma, Dad, JJ, this is Jasper Sinclair. Jas, my parents, Martina and Jackson Farmer, and my older brother, Jackson Junior.”
My father gives me a side-eye as he pauses and examines my body language near Jasper. I think he’s picked up on my preferences but has never called me out on my sexuality. He knows I’ll go to him when I’m ready, and he trusts me.
