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My mind is blown.You could have told me aliens are taking over the world and I would have believed it over Xan’s parents being murdered. I don’t get it. In the past three weeks, he’s buried his parents, found out about his father’s love child, taken over a billion-dollar company, and is dealing with an embezzlement scandal. Not to mention he quit a job he absolutely loves.
He’s in my arms, having cried himself to sleep, for the second time today. And in all of it, he’s grieving a loss I know firsthand he’ll never heal from. And murder? I still go back to this word. Lyle had made enemies, no doubt. He was not a good man. That isn’t even in question. But, Liz Lynol never did anything to anyone. Plus, I know he’s coming to terms with his dad’s death and the resolution he’d hoped to have with him one day. In the very deep part of Xan, he doesn’t allow others to see, he wanted his dad to be just that, a man who would one day love him unconditionally as a father should.
He rolls from me, and I take this time to slip out of the room to check on my ma. She said it was bad. And she wasn’t wrong.
The phone on the edge of my dresser lights with notifications, and I grab it, understanding Jim Soren wants answers. I left work sending him a quick email, stating it was a family emergency. Xan is my family.
Jim Soren:Could I get a status report, please as soon as you’re able to?
He’s a fair man. He was fair when he was my boss here, and when he moved to New York around the same time as me, I was relieved. The other partner was a horse’s ass.
He answers right away as I stand in the hallway. “Clark. Are you home?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Okay, what’s going on?”
“First, I’d set an appointment with your assistant, to speak with you about something.”
“Go ahead,” he instructs.
“I’m in a relationship with Xander Lynol. It started before his father passed and has progressively gotten serious.”
“Are you telling me you’re with him now?”
“Yes, sir,” I answer. I don’t plan to share the details because it’s not my place.
“Makes sense. I assume you heard about his parents?”
He catches me off guard. “Yes.”
“It was brought to our attention. This is a mess. With the embezzlement scandal and now this? But, wait, you both hated one another. This is quite the shift.”
I don’t think so. At the end of the day, hate stems from feelings that stir deep emotions inside of you, along with the way your gut clenches at the thought of your nemesis. These are all the same pangs I get when I think of Xan, but with love. At the mention of his name, my stomach clenches, not in the fear that he’ll make life hell for me, it’s with such gratitude for the way he’s changed my life and my outlook.
“You know, I’ve heard it’s a thin line between love and hate a few times since we decided there’s so much more to us than an old feud. I guess there’s truth to the saying.”
“You’re not wrong, Clark. Take the time you need; we have your workload here covered. Care for Xander. Don’t forget at the end of the day, you’re a lawyer, look out for him.”
He ends the call and it went better than I expected. I take one last peek at Xan still asleep on my bed and walk down to check on my ma. What a grand clusterfuck.
* * *
Ma is drinkingher nightly coffee while JJ and I need something stronger. With the best whiskey on the farm, we keep filling our tumblers. I’m in mid-drink as Xan’s voice booms down to the kitchen.
“It had to be Nicolas. He was so mad, found out Dad changed the will, and decided to get back at him.”
I hear the words and process what he’s said but as I turn around to the steps that empty into the kitchen, his face is frenzied and he holds onto the railings to right himself.
I swing my body around, as I’m already stepping out of the chair. “Baby, come here.”
I make my way toward him as he takes a step backward, up the stairs. “You don’t believe me?”
I stand on the bottom step and there are three feet between us. “It’s a possibility, baby. I’m not dismissing your concern, Xan. I’m just saying right now, there are so many emotions that you’re sifting through. Tomorrow or the next day we’ll visit the detective and go over the possibilities then.”
I reach my hands out to him, and he hesitates. “Come sit with us. Ma has some leftovers for you, and let me make you coffee, or a stiff drink, whatever you want.”
He takes another step up the stairs and turns around and I follow. “Xan, baby,” I call and can’t get to him before he steps through our door.
