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No, I can’t.
Something was wrong. Leah’s whole body had tightened. The scent of arousal from just a moment ago had evaporated, replaced by another familiar scent.
Fear.
Shit. He’d gone too far and let the needs of the mating bond control him. Her fear pierced through his needs and cleared his mind.
Julian backed away, even though the vampire screamed at him to finish, to take what was his, but he wouldn’t, not when she was no longer receptive to his attentions.
He would’ve stood up, but she stopped him with her fingers around his wrist.
“Wait. Don’t go.” She pushed up onto her knees and twined her arms around his neck. He suppressed a growl when her breasts brushed against his chest. “I’m yours,” she whispered into his ears. His cock twitched at the heat of her breath over his sensitive skin.
Those words were what he wanted, and the animalistic part of him rejoiced. Yet anyone with a brain could see she didn’t mean it. Her voice held no passion. The words sounded practiced, with a hint of flirtation.
He caressed her soft skin for a second, unable to resist the need to touch her. The scent of fear, of trepidation, had lessened, but it was still here.
Julian closed his eyes and cursed himself for caring. Any other man would’ve taken what she willingly offered, but it didn’t feel right.
He opened his eyes, gripped her upper arm, and pushed her away to arm’s length.Look at her face, not at her breasts, he growled to himself.
Her head was turned to the side, her brunette hair covering part of her face.
“Look at me,” he said. When she didn’t move, he shook her slightly. “Look at me.”
When she did, her lips were curved up in a seductress’ smile, but her eyes shone with determination and a hint of dread but no desire. Acrid fear clung to her scent.
“Fuck.” Julian let go of her and leaped to his feet. “We’re not doing this.”
How had he read her all wrong? It made no sense. She was his mate. She should lust after him the same way he did her, which was exactly what he’d sensed earlier, but something had changed. If only he could read her mind, but again her damned C2 implant prevented him.
“What do you mean?” She scrambled off the bed after him and pulled her torn dress together to cover her front. The first speck of anger, of fire, returned. “I thought you wanted to fuck me.”
“Yes.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “But not like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m some challenging task at work you have to finish,” he snapped. The second the words left him, he realized how stupid he’d been. He was her work. Her real work. More important than her position in Vegas. The pull of the mating bond had blinded him, had made him forget that she was the enemy.
She looked like he’d slapped her. Swallowing, she whispered, “That’s not true.”
The quiver in her voice tugged at his heart. Her eyes glistened bright. Great, now she was turning on the waterworks.
“Enough.” He didn’t care that she flinched from his roar. Refused to give a damn. He’d wasted enough time here already. “This is over. Don’t ever come up to my floor again. You can talk to Marek if you need me.”
“Ahh!” Leah screamed when she was alone, her fists balled at her sides. It didn’t stop the tears from rushing down her face. She swiped them away with impatience. Now wasn’t the time to cry.
Damn it. She fucked up.
And possibly lost her chance at freedom.
She screamed again, releasing her frustrated anger and fear. Why? Why did she remember her first time with Dmitri? Even though she’d agreed to sleep with him, she’d been terrified. She’d known how sex worked physically, but it hadn’t helped. The knowledge hadn’t lessened the pain or the wrongness she’d felt while under Dmitri.
The tears wouldn’t stop. She sat in bed and buried her face in her hands. Her harsh, gasping sobs were the only sound in the room.
But with Julian, everything had felt right, perfect even. She was finally learning what it meant to desire someone, to want someone, until her memories took over. She’d tried to find the rightness again, but years of faking it with Dmitri had taken over. It had been easier to pretend and hide her fear, to finish the physical act like she did with Dmitri, than to explain to Julian.
As her rasping sobs turned to sniffles, heat suffused her forehead, and she groaned.
