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The long, hot days were slow to cool, so when Finn suggested pulling away from the drive-through and sitting on a grassy slope on the side of the road to eat, I happily agreed. Finn had been wrong about one thing: I wasn’t just hungry, I was absolutely ravenous, and while we jumped easily from topic to topic, I somehow managed to demolish every last morsel of food. He even caught me looking hopefully in the corners of the empty bag for any straggling fries. He grinned at that and offered me his final few. It wasn’t quite the same as giving me the last Rolo in the packet, but it was close enough for me.
I had no idea it was so late until I heard the chimes of a distant church clock striking midnight, the sound travelling easily over the moonlit open fields.
‘It’s late,’ Finn said, getting to his feet and offering me his hand. The slope was steep and I got up too quickly, forcing him to take a tighter hold on me to stop us both from toppling backwards. The clock was still chiming, I could hear it, but it seemed to be happening in another dimension, because the one I’d slipped into contained no one but Finn and me. The moonlight was bright enough for me to see from the look in his eyes that he felt it too. I could feel the pounding of his heart against my own, their tempos perfectly in sync.
I looked up. Even though we probably both smelt of fast food, I had never wanted someone to kiss me as much as I did right then, and for a very long moment it seemed as though he was going to. My disappointment when he finally took a step back and widened the gap between us felt truly crushing.
‘I should get you back to your car,’ he said, his voice huskier than it had been just moments before. ‘You must be exhausted. You’ve had a pretty full-on day.’
We were only a few minutes’ drive from the park-and-ride depot, and although I tried out several sentences in my head to recapture our earlier banter, none of them made it past my lips. It was only when we pulled up beside my car that the inexplicable frisson between us sparked back into life.
‘Does it sound totally crazy to say how much I’ve enjoyed myself this evening?’ Finn asked.
I shook my head, my voice momentarily AWOL.
‘Can we do this again?’ he asked, and although I couldn’t see very well in the dark, I thought I’d glimpsed a slightly worried expression on his face.
I immediately forgot every article I’d ever read – or written, come to that – about not appearing too keen too soon.
‘I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.’
‘Tomorrow?’ said Finn, smiling at my reply.
A little late, I decided a degree of nonchalance might be in order. ‘Umm… maybenottomorrow. I don’t know if Hannah will still be in hospital and…’ I trailed away, not really sure where I was going with that thought.
There was real disappointment in his voice. ‘I’m sorry, but tomorrow is the only day I can do.’
‘Okay. Tomorrow it is,’ I said, ignoring the imagined protesting screams of a thousand feminists.
Finn climbed out of the driver’s seat and waited until I was settled in my own car. I’d lingered long enough while getting in and yet he still hadn’t kissed me.But he will tomorrow, a voice in my head whispered. Despite the warmth of the night, I shivered.
‘I’ll pick you up tomorrow,’ he promised, taking a step back from my car window with what I told myself was reluctance.
‘It’s a date,’ I said, managing to squeeze in one last blush before we went our separate ways.
He couldn’t have seen in the dark, and yet I swear he knew. His voice was warm as he replied.
‘It is.’
12
THEDATE
Four years earlier
Hannah foraged eagerly in the carrier bag I’d set down on her hospital bed, like a child with a Christmas stocking. With a triumphant flourish, she plucked out a smoked salmon sandwich and then a tub of her favourite moisturiser.
‘You know me so well,’ she said gratefully, already ripping the cellophane from the sandwich. ‘The toiletry bag William brought in from home this morning contained a box of ancient hair dye and some verruca-removal cream.’
I laughed with relief at hearing my friend sound so much more like herself than she’d done just twenty-four hours earlier.
‘I wasn’t sure if you’d make the afternoon visiting session. I thought you might come tonight,’ Hannah observed, sinking her teeth into the sandwich.
I absently twisted a grape off the obligatory bunch I’d brought in and popped it in my mouth, buying myself a moment or two of thinking time. ‘I thought you and William might like to have some alone time this evening,’ I said disingenuously.
Hannah chewed rapidly, her BFF sixth sense already on high alert. If she’d had antennas, they’d have been twitching like crazy. ‘Gemma Fletcher…’ she began, setting down the rest of the sandwich. The use of my full name and the abandonment of her favourite treat from Pret told me there would be no escaping the interrogation. ‘Is there something you’re not telling me here?’
I had no idea how Hannah unfailingly saw through my smokescreens. It was like a superpower. My eyes dropped to the Boots carrier bag on the bed, filled with items I’d sourced on a shopping trip that morning. Everything I’d bought was for her, except the tube of bright red lipstick and the bottle of expensive perfume sitting at the bottom of my handbag. They were for me.
