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Fall freely without expecting me to catch her, but to jump with her. Assure her that even though it’ll be terrifying, we’ll have each other. That if we let our hearts entwine, nothing will matter, because we’ll be okay.
It’ll be the two of us, falling again and again for the rest of our lives.
But I don’t say a word.
I just kiss her, hoping this will fill the hole that her leaving will create.
“What if I take you with me?” she suddenly asks after we part.
“Where are you going?” I ask, playing dumb.
“My grandmother’s. She must be worried about me,” she answers, and somehow, I can breathe when I hear her response.
“Are you planning on staying in Kentbury?” I dare to ask, hoping she’ll stay.
She shakes her head. “No. This place is lovely, but I don’t want to stay in the first place that made me feel whole. There are other places I haven’t seen just yet, and I don’t want to close the possibilities. Plus, I have to pack my things, sell my condo and figure out my future. It wouldn’t be fair to me or anyone to make a thoughtless decision.”
I kiss the top of her head.
“How long will you stay?”
She shifts, laying her head against my chest. I can feel the rapid beat of her heart.Time stretches, filled with the hush of our mingled breaths. Her fingers trace invisible patterns on my skin, and then, pulling herself on top of me, she meets my gaze with a smile and says, “I think until today.”
A pang of surprise and an unvoiced protest surges within me. “That soon?” I ask, raising an eyebrow, trying to hide the disappointment.
She nods, biting her lower lip. “Yeah. The sooner I go, the faster I might figure out what I want from life.”
The sound of my heart cracking is deafening. Thankfully, McKay can’t hear it. I knew this wouldn’t last, yet I still surrendered far too much of myself. It’s okay, though. I’ll be fine without those pieces since I’ve taken some of her.
But how does life go on when she’ll always occupy a part of my soul?
She begins to rock herself on top of me, placing my cock at her entrance and lowering herself slowly. No condom. There are no barriers between us, only skin on skin. And it’s okay. We discussed that the third time, we were making love. We’re both healthy, and she’s on the pill. I’m not worried about the consequences, but what else will she take while we fuck? She might as well leave me trembling, naked, and vulnerable in her departure. I just hope that I’ll survive without her.
* * *
A few hours later,McKay is gone. If Genie tried stopping her, she clearly failed. That evening at my family’s usual Sunday dinner, I feel hollowed out and adrift. I go through the motions, helping my niece with homework, raking leaves outside, and helping in the kitchen as always. But my smile feels forced, my laugh muted. I nod along, pretending to listen. My thoughts keep straying to McKay. A piece of me is missing. The food I swallow tastes like ash. I’ve never felt so alone, even in a crowded room.
When I get home, I can still feel her presence. It’s calming and yet suffocating.I grab a beer and head outside, surprised to find Damian waiting on the deck, the firepit already burning.
“What are you doing here?” I ask flatly.
“You were off today,” he says, studying me with concern.
“Let me guess: Lee sent you?”
Damian shakes his head. “I came on my own. Didn’t need her ordering me around this time.”
I scoff, knowing we both tend to indulge our bossy sister. It makes her happy, and we love to see her happy.
“What’s going on with you?” he insists, taking a swig from his beer.
“Did you already raid my fridge?” I deflect.
He grins wryly. “Wasn’t gonna listen to you sob sober.”
I bristle. “Who says I’m upset?”
“Genie’s granddaughter left you,” he states matter-of-factly.
