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When we reach the chapel, Connall is waiting outside for us. He has his hands tucked into his trouser pockets with a troubled look on his face.
“Can I have a minute with Cyn?” he asks Lorcan. “This won’t take long, I promise.”
Lorcan nods his head. “Of course.” Giving my hand a squeeze, he presses another soft kiss to my cheek. “See you soon, okay?”
“Nothing will stop me,” I reply, watching him step inside the chapel and gently close the door behind him.
“You look beautiful,” Connall says, a heavy sigh drifting from his lips.
“You’re sad,” I reply. “Don’t be. This is a happy day for me.”
“I’ve taken from you, Cynthia. Aoife would’ve loved to be here today.”
“And she is. In here,” I reply, pressing a hand over his heart.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
“I’ve never blamed you for her death.”
He places his hand over mine, curling his fingers around my palm. “Why not?”
“You made a mistake. You were a child, Connall.”
“Doesn’t make it any better. I took her from you, from us all.”
“You have to forgive yourself. My mother wouldn’t want you to punish yourself like this. That wasn’t how she lived her life. She was kind, understanding. She loved my father after all.”
Connall nods, his eyes glazing with tears. “You’re a gift, you know that?”
“I didn’t. I wasn’t seen or heard for a long, long time, but I know that now. Thanks to you all.”
“You’ll always have a home, a family with the O’Briens. You ever need us, you call and we’ll come. No questions.”
“I know that, and I intend on calling, a lot. I like you. I like Tom, and I’m looking forward to meeting the rest of my family.”
Connall grins, but then the smile falls and I know the guilt he feels is back. “I should tell them, shouldn’t I?”
“I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’m not sure that on this occasion that telling the truth is the right thing to do.” I sigh. “What good would it do, you telling them now? It doesn’t change anything. She’s gone. The truth won’t bring her back, but it could put a wedge between you all and I don’t want it to. Do you know what I do want?”
“What’s that?” Connall asks.
“For you to be happy. Let it go, Connall. Let your guilt go and find happiness.”
“You’re too good for any of us, just like Aoife,” he replies, drawing me into a hug.
I rest my head against his chest, only pulling apart when Tom steps out into the hallway. He frowns as he looks between us, but he doesn’t question what we’ve been talking about or why Connall looks close to tears, he simply smiles and says, “Are you ready to get married?”
I nod. “Absolutely.”
Letting me go, Connall steps back and looks over my head to his brother before dropping his gaze to me. “I know Tom won’t ask, but I will. As the head of our family, and Aoife’s favourite brother, will you let him walk you down the aisle?”
I smile up at Connall, looking over my shoulder at Tom who grins, bright spots of red colouring his cheeks.
“Are you blushing Uncle Tom?” I ask, smiling so wide, my cheeks hurt.
“I do believe I am,” he replies with a chuckle. Then his smile drops, and he holds his arm out for me to take, serious now. “Will you do me the honour, Cynthia?”
“Absolutely,” I reply, sliding my arm through his.
