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“Do you want me to leave?” I ask, as I traverse the bed to get to the door.
I know what’s about to happen. It’s not the first time they’ve used pain and physical release as a form of comfort. This is how they’ve always handled their emotions when shit gets too heavy, but I’ve never been a part of it. Not because I hadn’t wanted to but because this was their thing, what they did for each other, and I respected that. Sure we’ve shared women before, shared each other, but this is different.
This is more than just sexual gratification.
I’ve neverneededto be a part of it… until now.
Arden reaches out and grabs my arm. “No. I want you here too. Ineedyou here, Lorcan,” he adds. “Please, stay.”
“Of course,” I reply, placing my hand over his before striding to the door and locking it.
Beyond I can hear the muffled sound of The Masks and Beast talking, and the steady thrum of the engines as we fly 40,000 feet above ground. It won’t be long until we land in southern Spain, but I sure as fuck hope it’s long enough to get our heads on straight. Beast was right when he said Carrick was no good to Cyn in this state. None of us are. If we’re to get her back, we have to be the Deana-dhe. We cannot allow ourselves to wallow in our guilt a second longer.
We can’t be weak.
We need to be fierce.
We need to be strong like Cyn’s always been.
With my back pressed against the door, a little uncertain what to do next, I wait, watching as Arden strokes Carrick’s hair. His gentleness surprises me because I know what Carrick needs the most right now is pain. He goaded The Masks and Beast because he wanted a reaction, he wanted a fight, and with it oblivion.
Pain has always been Carrick’s way of letting go of stress and dealing with overwhelming emotions, and it’s Cyn he has to thank for uncovering that. Even back when we were kids she understood him better than he understood himself. Better even, than we did.
“Carrick, look at me,” Arden demands. When he doesn’t comply, Arden’s fingers curl into his hair, tightening around the strands. “I said look at me.”
“Fuck,” I mutter, my throat tightening at the devastation painting Carrick’s features as Arden forces his head back. The scar might carve across his face in a brutal reminder of how the Skull Brotherhood bested him, but it’s the pain in his eyes that has my stomach churning with sympathy.
“This isn’t on you,” Arden says firmly.
“It’s my fault,” he says.
“No.”
“It’s my fault,” he argues, his fists curling at his sides.
“You fought for her,” Arden reminds him.
“Not hard enough.”
“You fought for her. You were injured. There were too many.”
“NOT HARD ENOUGH!” he shouts back, slamming his chest with his fist over and over again until Arden yanks him roughly upward, letting go of his hair and gripping his chin roughly.
“Listen to me. You are not to blame.”
“If not me then who, Arden? Who’s fault is it?” Carrick argues.
“Mine!” Arden shouts back, his own guilt uncorking. “It’smyfault. I’m the one responsible. I should’ve known Soren would want her, of course he would. She’s clever, she’s beautiful, she’s gifted. Why the fuck wouldn’t he? I brought her back to the island to make diamonds for Soren under the guise of wanting money. I ignored how I felt about her because I was a chicken-shit. I pretended I hated her, that I didn’t fucking adore the way she could still my fucking heart with one withering look, or that her gentle touch didn’t send blood roaring to my cock. I refused to believe that she was ours, until it was too late,” he pants, chest heaving as his grip on Carrick’s chin tightens. “So, no, Carrick, this isn’t on you.”
“But they fucking took her fromme!” he shouts, reaching up and grasping the back of Arden’s head, dragging him closer until their foreheads touch.
“They took her fromus!” Arden cries, his voice cracking as their breaths mingle.
And then, like two stars colliding, their lips slam against each other in a brutal kiss, guilt lighting their pain like a match. Sorrow draws them together, and without the woman we all love here to ease the ache in their hearts, all they have is each other to burn up in.
My cock jerks as I watch them grasping at each other, seeking solace in one another, and it fires something inside of me.
Something surprising.
