AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“She was in the room with Soren, naked except for a chain wrapped around her waist linking her to him. We knew she couldn’t have been there of her own accord, but instead of trying to do something to help, we delivered the diamonds, and we left. On the way out, I began to have a vision. Lorcan got me to the car just in time. I passed out. When I woke up we were on the boat back to the island.”
Cyn’s bottom lip begins to tremble, and her eyes mist with tears that I wish I didn’t cause.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry we didn’t try to help her. I’m sorry we were too selfish to think about anything else apart from getting back to you. I’m sorry we put you in a position of danger. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m so fucking sorry for it all, Cyn.”
She stares at me for a long time, and with every second that passes it’s like she’s removing layer upon layer of skin and muscle until I’m just a heart beating wildly, waiting for her to crush it.
She has the power to do that. She always did.
But instead of doing that, she takes my hands in hers and says, “I left my journal for you to find not just because I wanted you to find a way to co-exist with The Masks, but because I knew the only chance you had of saving me was with their help. Knowing that, how could you have done anything differently that night. You couldn’t have.”
“Maybe you’re right, but the honest to God truth is, we could’ve tried. We didn’t because all we wanted was to get back to you. It was a selfish act.”
Cyn sighs heavily, and I feel the weight of her grief as if it’s my own.
“I could lie and tell you that hearing you say that doesn’t hurt, because it does. It hurts deeply, not because I feel betrayed by your decision but because Faith was a good woman, strong, brave. Shedeservedto live. It hurts so much to know she suffered for so long and never got the chance to be a mum, that she lost her life and that of her unborn child so brutally. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over her loss.”
“We should’ve tried.”
“You could’ve died and then what would’ve happened?”
“We should’ve tried,” I insist.
“Can I ask you something?” she asks softly.
“Anything.”
“If you’d known what Faith would mean to me before you walked into that room, what would you have done?”
“We would’ve fought to save her. No question.”
“But if you had, they would’ve killed you, and then who would have come to save me, the other women?” she asks, her voice imploring me to understand. “Do you see what I’m trying to say?”
“I’m not sure that makes me feel any better, that our selfishness saved us. You’re different, Cyn. Your instinct is to help, to heal. You chose a path you knew was going to be painful, to save us.”
“Because I knew what the outcome would be. Nessa told me. You didn’t know Faith before that moment. You didn’t know how much she'd mean to me or what would happen to her. All you knew was that Soren and his men were dangerous. That there were just two of you and many of them. In that moment you had to live. You had to live so that later you could save me, and those other women you set free.”
"I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I don't deserve your excuses."
"It isn't an excuse. It's the horrible, unfair, brutal truth. Sometimes terrible things happen to good people. Do I wish with all my heart it wasn't true? Of course I do," Cyn says, her voice cracking as tears stream down her face.
She drops her head, her shoulders shaking and I reach for her, thumbing away her tears as I draw her onto my lap. She comes willingly, settling against me as I hold her, fucking breathing in her scent. To hold her in my arms like this, it’s a wish come true. I never, ever want to let her go.
“She was a good woman, Arden. So brave. So strong. I think you would’ve liked her.”
“Tell me about her.”
“One day, but not yet,” she croaks back, her tear-clogged voice brittle.
"So what do we do now?" I ask, respecting her request for more time so that she can grieve and heal.
She pulls back slightly, sliding her hands up and over my chest, then cupping my cheeks as she brushes her lips softly over mine, and says, "We live.”
Then she kisses me, and that jealousy I felt earlier disappears, hope taking its place as our tongues dance, our lips meld, and our breaths mingle.
* * *
“That smells… interesting,” Lorcan says as he steps into the kitchen a little while later. His gaze flicks to Cyn who’s eating a bowl of tomato soup whilst I stir a pot of bubbling herbs on the stove under her watchful gaze. “I woke up and you were gone,” he adds, not angry, just relieved that she’s here, safe.
