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Already out of the car Jakub, Leon and Konrad wait for me to join them. Sliding the phone into my coat pocket, I step onto the gravel drive in front of my family home. It's a huge sprawling mansion perched on the hill overlooking the rolling fields of Kells, a village thirty minutes drive from Kilkenny City.
The house is a glorious relic, built to look like a castle with grey stone walls and turrets at each corner. It has a long driveway with well-tended gardens that sit beyond rows of perfectly manicured trees. It’s been almost two years since I’ve been back, and I'd forgotten just how grand my childhood home is. With its imposing facade and weathered brickwork covered in moss and ivy that creeps along the face of the building and worms its way around the windows, Kells Manor is as magnificent as ever.
"Are you okay?" Leon asks me, drawing my attention away from the gargoyles glaring out from the corner of each turret.
"No, I’m not.”
Leon nods. "You say what you need to say, then we leave, okay?"
"That's the plan," I reply, forcing steel into my spine.
"If we don't report back to Arden within the hour, there'll be more bloodshed," Konrad adds, watching me carefully. “He made it very clear to me that he will have no issue razing this place to the ground.”
"I'm fully aware of what's at stake here. I just want to say goodbye. To draw a line through this part of my life for good. Once I’m done, I will walk away and never look back."
“Are you certain?” Jakub asks me.
“There’s nothing here for me anymore. I don’t want any part of this life.”
"Then we should get this done," Jakub comments.
I hesitate. It would have been so easy to stay away and never come back, to turn my back on the man who turned his back on me his whole life, but my mother loved my father and if I can do one thing for her it's to say goodbye to him for her.
Jakub rests his hand on my lower back. "Shall we?"
"Thank you for coming with me. Thank you for everything you've done," I say, my voice thick with emotion.
Jakub dips his head, whilst Leon and Konrad reward me with a tight smile. If you were an outsider looking in with only their reputation as reference, you would see three incredibly dark, troubled men standing beside me. But I know differently. I know they've become more than the product of their abusive pasts. That they've learned how to be human, how to have empathy, how to be compassionate, to live in kindness, and to love. It's partly because of them that I'm here today, but it’s a hell of a lot more to do with Christy that they’ve become the good, kind, empathetic men they are now.
"It's us who should be thanking you, Cynthia. This is the least we could do," Jakub says. He reaches for my hand, briefly squeezing my fingers. "Ready?"
Taking a deep breath, I follow Jakub as he walks up the steps towards the huge oak door, my heart pounding as I ponder what awaits me inside. As soon as I step over the threshold, a wave of warmth washes over me and I find myself standing in the grand entrance hall with its marble floors, crystal chandeliers and art deco furniture. In spite of the grandeur, there's an overwhelming feeling of sorrow that hangs heavy in this place like an invisible fog.
"I wasn't aware that you'd be accompanying Cynthia," a familiar voice says, as my uncle Jack appears from the study to the left of the entrance hall.
He's similar in height to my father, but that’s where the physical similarity ends. Where my father has jet black hair and deep blue eyes, Jack has a mousy brown mop of curls and brown eyes that hold no depth. He has the same O'Farrell coldness though. He has that in spades.
"We called ahead and left a message," Jakub says, moving to stand by my side, whilst Leon and Konrad flank the other. I'm struck by the sense of protection they provide, grateful for their presence. "I'm assuming you didn't receive it?" he adds.
"I did not," Jack replies, casting a cautious gaze between us before resting his eyes on me. "Cynthia, it's good to see you."
"Hello, Uncle Jack," I reply, not returning the compliment.
Whilst Jack has been more present in my life than my father, he's still an O'Farrell. There's a bitterness that runs through their veins, a cold-heartedness, and honestly, I can't understand why the men of the family are so distant and emotionless given their mother was so warm and kind.
"Where is he?" I ask, wanting to get this over with.
Jack looks between me and The Masks. "You can wait in the parlour," he clips.
"We will accompany, Cynthia," Jakub counters with firm authority.
Jack shakes his head. "He's dying. He doesn't need a room full of people he barely knows.”
"Then Jakub will accompany Cynthia for moral support and Leon and I will wait in the parlour until she's ready to leave," Konrad says, eyeing Jakub who nods in agreement.
"As you wish. Cynthia, Jakub. Follow me," Jack replies without wasting another second before twisting on his heel and striding towards the stairs that lead up to my father’s wing of the house.
Instead of immediately following, I remain glued to the spot, seized by a sudden rash of fear until Jakub reaches out to me and gently grips my elbow.
