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“I’ve got some good news.” He smiled wider, making me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. It was such a genuine thing for him.
“Lay it on me. I’d love to hear some.” I stretched my arms toward the ceiling and yawned.
“I bored you already?”
I laughed, noticing a glimmer of hope behind his gaze.
And it killed me. I knew what he wanted, but I just couldn’t give it to him.
“That’s one thing about you. You’re never boring,” I assured him. “So let me have some good news.”
“I’m making my infamous carbonara tonight for everyone.” He smiled, and I grinned. “And Officer Carl thinks it might be an ex-employee from the previous owners.”
I chuckled as he took a seat next to me on the couch. Our bodies were a few inches apart, but I could feel the heat from him rolling over to me.
I’d spent many a night curled against Zack on this couch. The thought made my stomach squeeze with regret.
He slowly brushed a piece of hair from my forehead.
“What about the photo of me?” I asked.
“We don’t know yet.” He didn’t take his eyes off mine. “But we’ll know more as soon as he does.”
I nodded, silently wishing I could tell him everything that had happened since I broke up with him, but he was already doing more than enough, and I didn’t need him to go nuclear.
There were some things I needed to do on my own.
He turned to see me better on the couch as I propped my elbows on my knees, curling into a ball of nerves.
“I won’t bite. I promise,” he said, gently patting my knee.
It felt good.
“Do you ever make mistakes? Like, epic mistakes?” I asked Zack.
He kicked out his legs and folded his hands behind the back of his head, stretching. “No. At this point in my life, I’m pretty much perfection.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Of course, I make mistakes. Daily, if not hourly. Why do you ask?”
I straightened and pushed my feet toward his lap. “I just feel like I’ve made a lot of mistakes throughout my life, and it’s all just led me to this moment.”
Zack’s expression fell, and he pulled my feet closer to him, squeezing them through my pink fuzzy socks.
“You did absolutely nothing to deserve this. You didn’t bring any of this on yourself. You’re dealing with some money-hungry, power-hungry individuals embedded in a web far larger than any of us realized. It wasn’t like you made a mistake and everything like this tumbled down on you.”
“No. I know. I just feel like I’ve made some mistakes along the way.”
“No more than most people,” he said softly. “I wish you’d quit blaming yourself, Sadie.”
I knew he meant it. He always did. He always made me feel worthy and heard.
So why did I value the trauma more than the healing? Why did I break up with him?
Zack’s eyes locked on mine as I tucked my feet underneath me and scooted closer to him. It felt like all the air in the room had been sucked out, and I was floating in a tipsy euphoria as his eyes lowered to my lips.
Without a second thought, I looked into his hazel eyes, the flecks of gold intensifying as he bit his bottom lip and moved his arms around my waist, waiting for my permission.
I stared at him, wanting to be kissed.
“I don’t want to play with your heart, Zack,” I whispered, feeling the desire race between us.
