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I’d let him go.
He propped himself off the tree and cleared his throat. “If we used your therapist’s analogy, I should ditch my brother because the worst thing in our world happened in front of us. I’m sure whenever he looks at me, he thinks of that day our parents were taken away because I know when I look at him, I think the same.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “But do you know what that shared experience brings, Sadie?”
I shook my head, feeling my throat constrict from his honesty.
“Comfort.” He took a few steps forward. “And the fact that I couldn’t bring that to you shows my failures as a partner to you, Sadie. And I’m sorry. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I blinked away the dampness. “It’s not like that, Zack.” I brought in a trembling breath. “You were the bright spot in all of it. I don’t think I could have gotten through the night terrors without you. I just…” I shook my head. “I just need time and space.”
He nodded, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and squeezing me close. “I get it, but I’ll always be here for you. Now, let’s get you to that appointment.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Do we have to?”
I wasn’t sure, but it felt like Zack pressed a soft kiss on top of my knit cap before we started toward the house.
On the third step, he stopped walking and turned around. I nearly bumped into him. His fiery gaze landed on mine as he cupped his hands around my face.
“I can’t keep pretending, Sadie.”
My heart battered inside my chest as I silently begged for a kiss. Zack’s lips met mine, and I opened my mouth as our kisses went from controlled to ragged and torn with uncertainty. His lips tasted like peppermint as he slid his tongue to dance with mine. A fiery need crept through me as I let out a soft moan of appreciation. Our kisses warmed me from the chill in the air as he pulled me closer, pressing his firm body against mine.
My phone alarm chimed, and I groaned as his mouth broke from mine.
“It’s the reminder for my session.”
Zack smiled, his eyes connecting with mine.
The thought of having to talk to my therapist pained me. I felt like I got more out of the last twenty minutes with Zack than I had these last several months with her. But that was just it. I didn’t need my boyfriend to be my therapist. It wasn’t fair to him.
But, man, it felt good being in his arms…
The way he squeezed me close as we hiked back to his house made me forget the morning and gave me a promise of peace, even if it wasn’t long-lived.
We reached the front door, and he punched in his code and opened the door, letting me out of his arms.
A shiver ran through me as the warmth of the house reminded me of just how cold I was.
Zack helped me out of my coat, and I caught Ian watching us, which made him smile.
“Don’t mind me. I’m just over here working.” Ian grinned.
I forced a chuckle and glanced at Zack. “Thank you for sharing that with me about your parents.”
His eyes held mine, and he softly touched my chin. “I should have done it sooner.”
“The timing was perfect. It was what I needed to hear. I’m just sorry it ever happened.”
Zack and his brother traded a glance, and I swallowed down the swelling of emotions threatening to crumple me into a ball.
“I'd better get going to my appointment.” Without thinking, I stood on my toes and swiped a quick kiss against Zack’s cheek, and his breath caught.
I tightened my fists as I turned around and started toward the stairs to my bedroom. I shouldn’t toy with him like that. I didn’t expect to kiss him, but it just felt so natural.
With each step up, I became surer of my decision.
I was going to end my sessions with my therapist. She laid the framework, but now it was up to me to make the decisions that would let me live life again.
Chapter Fourteen
