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Not a whim! I imagine her with the fierce shape of her mouth, teeth clenched, and her eyes passionate. Your meaning. Your way of seeing the world. Don’t put it down like that.
I run a hand through my hair. You don’t know what you’re agreeing to. I mean, you’re MY woman. Nobody else, for the rest of our lives. No thinking of anybody else. If a man tries to touch you, Jackal and I will make him forget about it. Your body and soul are going to belong to me—only me.
That’s what I want, she replies, so badly.
I try to slow my breathing. It’s like there’s a fierce drum beating inside of me, getting louder, trying to drive me to my feet and out to the car. I could live in the dream of this moment. Not think about the other reasons she might say this, but I’ve been through too much in my life. I trust her. I know her, but I can’t stop that part of my brain from ticking away, calculating possibilities.
If you told me you weren’t interested, you’d still have that apartment for life. You’d still never have to work as a cleaner. Your mom would have her rehab or anything she needs. Eli would have his doctor. I’d still provide all of that.
I’m not saying this for MONEY, Sam, she replies quickly, and I can hear the passionate outrage in her voice. It’s the truth. I’d still want you if we were poor and living in a tent. I’m like you. I just know. I haven’t got a dog to back me up, but I KNOW.
“I love her,” I whisper, stroking Jackal under the chin, “so much, boy. What am I doing here?”
Is that why you ran? she asks. Because you didn’t think I’d feel the same?
When I sit back, Jackal does something very strange for him. He leaps into my lap and curls up. It’s a rarity, and I allow myself to smile, stroking my free hand over his back. I was sure you wouldn’t feel the same. I thought when you heard about the dog thing, you’d want nothing to do with me.
You’re so naïve in your own way, Sam, she texts. Anybody would think I’m the mature, experienced one.
I smirk. I’m stunned I can do that so soon after everything. How’s that?
You saved my mother’s life. We’ve shared some crazy hot intimacy. We get on well together. You’re more handsome than I can even believe sometimes, AND you stopped my dad’s killer from hurting me. How could you think I don’t want you?
But it’s different, I reply. I want you like the stars want the goddamn sky. I don’t even know if that makes sense.
It makes complete sense to me, like there’s no other choice. It’s as if it all clicked into place the second we saw each other.
I’m nodding, though she obviously can’t see. She’s reached into my mind and pulled my thoughts out.
I never should’ve left, I type. I’m coming home tonight. I’ll be there early in the morning. I feel like a jackass.
Really? That’s amazing. Yes, I want to see you. Come home. From the way Liam was talking, I thought you were going to be gone for weeks.
I didn’t know how long it would be, I reply. I couldn’t think straight. I wasn’t thinking at all.
If I said I didn’t feel the same, would you have ever come back?
My instincts grind. I almost ask her if she only said it to get me home, but I must start trusting her.
“You were right, boy,” I say, stroking Jackal over the ears. “You knew. I tried to fight it, but you knew.”
CHAPTER 25
Katy
I’m lying in bed, feeling sore from the day’s events. I’ve done nothing since I came home except lie here, think, eat a quick meal, and lie here some more. I stared at my phone, brooding in the police station, the way the officer left and took forever to return. Then the phone, like Sam wanted us to have a virtual date before he abandoned me.
I forget all of that now, thinking of Sam out there someplace, just him and Jackal. I should be with him, safe in his arms, feeling his powerful heart beating against me, reassuring me he’s right there. He’ll never let me go.
I would have stayed away, he replies, but you and your mother never would’ve wanted for anything. I wouldn’t have been able to return to see you with another man. I wouldn’t trust myself.
A tingle dances over my skin like it did when this first started. It hasn’t even been seven days, yet I feel it’s been seven years. Maybe longer. I remember how he looked earlier, savage and intense, every part of him swelling with rage and passion for me.
Crap. Jackal has leaked some fuel. I should be able to fix it, but it will take a while.
