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God help her, she wanted that life with Dane.
Breathing in the sweet baby scent, she wondered if she’d been lying to herself. She’d tried to be with other men. She’d even found a special man and told herself he was the one. But maybe that was just another lie she’d made up. Maybe it was the only way she could keep her hands off Dane. And keep her heart safe.
Dane raced down the field with the boys, shouting encouragement, clapping his hands, urging them on.
The Mavericks were out there, but all she saw was Dane. It didn’t matter that she could never have him. It didn’t matter that she sustained herself with memories of their one night, of his kiss, his taste, his touch. It didn’t matter that she sucked at choosing men, same as Ava. She knew all the reasons she and Dane couldn’t be together.
And it was twelve years too late anyway. Whatever happened that night was so far in the past that, in Dane’s mind, it could be only a distant memory. She couldn’t risk losing the life she’d made for herself. She couldn’t risk another change after losing Uncle Lochlan. She couldn’t risk the possibility of losing Dane as her best friend. That’s what he was—her very best friend in all the world now that her uncle was gone. Even as she craved the lives of these wonderful Maverick ladies, she couldn’t risk losing what she already had.
It was safer to stay where she was, with the perfect working relationship, the perfect friendship.
All she could do was watch Dane on the grass with the boys. All she could let herself have were memories of his kiss, of his hands trailing her skin, of his male scent filling her head, and his body filling her up. That would have to sustain her.
But as she held the darling baby in her arms, as she bent to kiss the sweetly scented skin, she simply could not stop her gaze from drifting to Dane once more. He seemed to be having the time of his life with the two boys, and fear curled in her belly. Fear of the day when he realized how much he wanted to be a father. Fear of the day he’d go in search of the perfect woman to be the mother of his children. Fear that woman could never be her.
It all hit her in a single sucker punch—the baby in her arms, Dane doing fatherly things with two little boys, the memories of their one night, the loss of what might have been. If she’d been alone, she’d have curled into a tight ball, terrified of her future.
Instead, she stood too fast, feeling a wave of dizziness, suddenly afraid for the child she held. Pasting a ridiculously cheerful smile on her face that felt like a caricature of her real self, she thrust the child at Paige. “You should get to hold your baby too. We’ve been monopolizing the twins.”
Paige took Savannah happily as all the women gathered round, smiling and clueless as to why Cammie had to surrender the tiny pink bundle. Paige kissed her child’s smooth cheek, closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply of that sweet baby scent.
It was almost Cammie’s undoing. She didn’t dare cast another glance in Dane’s direction. All she could do was run for the house, where she could hide inside, take deep breaths—or scream and cry—until she found herself again.
Chapter Twelve
Dane was aware of Cammie every moment, even as he showed the boys how to dribble the ball, as he ran with them, encouraged them, even as he stood on the sidelines watching them scramble for the ball. Maverick generation two-point-oh.
Still keeping her in his sights, he said to Matt and Gideon, “You’ve got a couple of future powerhouse players there.”
Matt laughed. “We have to bring out the younger generation to have any chance of beating your sisters.”
Gideon folded his arms, gazing at the boys. “Yeah, your sisters are unbelievable.”
“A more ruthless couple of players I’ve never known,” Matt agreed, still grinning.
“They started really young. Gabby played in middle school. We all helped her train.” He breathed in deeply, his eye on Cammie holding one of the babies. The pink swaddle must be Savannah. And Cammie looked so damn good.
He wondered if her job had been holding her back from her true calling—being a mother. Or maybe it was all the years of caring for Lochlan, when she couldn’t dream of anything else.
With Sebastian close behind him, Will joined them just in time to ask, “That was after your parents died, right?”
Dane nodded, turning once more to watch Jorge and Noah, with Cal and Daniel calling instructions and Bob imparting words of wisdom. “It was more than just training for Gabby. I guess you could say that’s how we all vented our feelings. And there was a helluva lot to vent after our parents died.”
