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“We all grieve in different ways,” Will said. “Whatever works.”
Dane couldn’t say why, but something broke loose then, a tiny piece of himself. Maybe it was watching the boys. Maybe it had been feeling the delicate weight of a child in his arms. Or maybe, most likely, it was the sight of Cammie holding a baby as if motherhood was the only thing she’d ever wanted. And never had.
“Ava and I were still in college when the avalanche killed our parents.” It had been an avalanche in so many ways. “She was a freshman, and I was a junior. I wanted to be a veterinarian,” he said with a wry smile. “But we both had to drop out.” He hardly remembered those days, except for his love of animals. As a teen, he’d volunteered at an animal rescue, fostering injured birds, squirrels, a skunk, and once even a rattlesnake who’d lost its rattle.
“Man, that’s really tough, losing your parents as well as having to give up your dream,” Gideon said. The man was probably remembering all his losses before he’d finally found his sister, Ari, again. And then Rosie.
Will slapped Dane on the back. “So you actually raised your whole family as well.”
Dane shook his head, glancing at the group of women by the pool, Ava talking animatedly, her hands sweeping through the air as if she was making a proclamation, Gabby tranquilly basking in the sun, eyes closed but taking it all in. And Cammie, who listened. She always listened, gathering information, a quiet voice and a thrilling mind.
He told the guys the truth. “Ava did far more than me. She’s really smart. She got her healthcare management degree in night school while she worked full time at a nursing home. We made it through, and yeah, we did it together, but I never would’ve held up without Ava.”
And he would never have found his focus if it hadn’t been for Cammie.
“It’s the women in our lives who keep us sane.” Sebastian threw a glance at Charlie, then jutted his chin toward Susan. “Without them, we’d be nothing.”
The herd of Mavericks surrounding Dane erupted in a loud huzzah of agreement.
Dane had to add, “Your mom is awesome.”
Then he ran back in to help the boys, feeling almost as if he were fleeing the revealing moment on the sidelines. He’d never divulged so much to anyone in his life. Except Cammie and his own family.
But that’s what Mavericks did. They talked. They shared. They confided.
What if he confided how badly he wanted his assistant back in his bed? How he dreamed of her at night? How he closed his eyes, and her scent filled him up? How he still felt the softness of her hair against his fingers, the taste of her on his tongue, the silken tightness of her body around him?
Somehow his need had amplified with Lochlan’s passing. As if now there was nothing truly holding them back. Even the rules seemed superfluous. They’d been there to protect her job, mostly for Lochlan’s sake.
Or, hell, maybe it was just the fact that she’d been gone for five months, and he’d missed her.
Cammie had never given him a single signal that she wanted more. If they got too close, if there was a moment when sexual tension seemed to vibrate in the air around them, if he looked at her mouth and thought about leaning close enough to kiss her, there were the rules. And he would never do one damn thing to ruin the relationship they had or make her run away. Having her in his life was more important than a single night in her bed.
But now, the beautiful sight of her with a baby in her arms terrified him.
She’d had a couple of close calls with men—at least one he knew of for sure. Or maybe it was more accurate to say it had been a close call for him. In the end, though, none of her relationships had lasted. And as badly as he wanted her to have the life she deserved, he’d never been so damned glad of anything in his life.
But how could he compete with a woman’s desire to have a child?
“Da-ane,” Noah cried, turning his name into two syllables. “You missed the ball.”
Sure enough, Dane had let the ball roll right on by.
“Sorry, guys, let me get it.” He ran for the ball, kicking it back to the two boys. Then, inevitably, inexorably, Cammie drew his gaze once more.
She stood, handing the baby to Paige. Even as she smiled, Cammie turned and walked up to the house. Maybe he was the only one who saw that by the time she reached the three top steps, she was running.
How thoughtless he’d been. He hadn’t even considered how hard it would be for her to see this big, beautiful family and not think of how she’d just lost her uncle. Damn, he was an insensitive idiot.
