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When her tears dried, she pulled away out of embarrassment, but he refused to let her. “You don’t need to hide from me,” he reminded her. “I can’t begin to fathom how difficult it was for you to tell thousands of strangers that you’re dying.”
“It’s not that.”
“What is it then?”
She glanced at him through her wet lashes. The words were on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to tell him she was in love with him, that she wanted to be with him in all the ways that counted, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words out of fear he would reject her, and rightly so.
“Tonight showed me what it was like to have a family.” While she hadn’t lied, she hadn’t told him the truth of what bothered her.
“We can stay here,” he told her. Kent didn’t have to say that this could be where she closed her eyes for the last time. His face said it all.
“No, I want to keep going,” she told him. “I’m not done living yet.”
“Okay, we’ll leave in the morning.”
While Kent rolled two blankets, one for the wall and the other for the headboard, Palmer went into the bathroom. When she returned, Kent sat on the edge of the bed waiting for her. He stood and waited for her to crawl into bed. He tucked her in, giving her more blankets than he would use.
They lay on their sides, facing each other, neither of them speaking. They stared, memorizing each other as if this were their last night together.
“If you get cold, wake me, and I’ll get you some more blankets.” Kent pulled the comforter more toward her chin. “The air conditioner’s on.”
“I’ll be fine as long as I can snuggle into you.”
Kent smiled brightly and chuckled. “I’m always open for a good snuggle.”
“I appreciate you,” she told him.
Kent moved closer. “You know, you seem to forget I needed saving as well. This trip isn’t about me saving you,” he reminded her.
“I know, but my issues are more . . . I don’t know, issues.” She laughed at herself. Palmer had a hard time coming up with the right words at times, like now.
“We’re in this together. We’re a team.”
“The perfect team.”
Kent kissed her forehead. His lips lingered there for a moment before he pulled away. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a lot.”
“How so?”
“I’m afraid the flashing lights might induce a seizure.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, but since none of your seizures have been bright-light-induced, we might be in the clear. It’s a risk.”
“I’m willing to take it,” Palmer told him.
“We’ll leave in the morning and be there by dinner. Now go to sleep.” He kissed the tip of her nose and turned onto his back. Without any hesitation, he lifted his arm, and she moved into her favorite position, that sweet spot between the crook of his neck and his collarbone.
“Good night, Kent.”
“Sweet dreams, Palmer.”
Before I’m Gone
Sit in the front seat of a roller coaster and feel the wind in my hair
Eat tacos or tortillas from a roadside stand in New Mexico
Shop at a large farmers market
Meet Lana Del Rey and see her in concert
Take a picture of the most-painted shed in the US
Sit in the sand and watch the sunrise in Cape Cod
Take the steps to the Lincoln Memorial
Do yoga in Sedona
Tour and feed animals in a wildlife sanctuary
Stand under a waterfall
See Elvis on the street corner in Las Vegas
Hug an elephant
Find my family
Step on grapes and make wine
Run through a wheat field
Drive Route 66
See the marquees on Broadway
Ring the Liberty Bell
Buy a quilt from an Amish stand
See the northern lights in Minnesota
Visit Plymouth Rock
Touch Babe Ruth’s bat
Travel the Loneliest Road
Visit the Muhammad Ali Center
Dance in the rain with someone I love
Take the ferry to the Statue of Liberty
Check out the Grand Canyon
Take every picture I can of Palmer
Make Palmer smile
Eat chowdah in Boston, per Palmer
Eat pizza in Chicago
Try frozen custard in New York City
Get coffee in each city
THIRTY-SIX
As odd as it sounded, Kent and Palmer were in a routine. They woke, got into their rental, and ate breakfast on the road, and while Kent drove, Palmer wrote in her journal. They were both quiet until the coffee kicked in. It was safe to say that Kent and Palmer were not morning people.
An hour after leaving Raúl’s, with breakfast tacos in hand, Palmer closed her journal and opened the top to let the sunshine in. It would only be able to stay open for a couple of hours. It was already warm out, with the temperatures rising, and it would be too hot later to keep it open. Palmer reclined and closed her eyes. Kent glanced at her quickly and smiled. She lay there with the biggest smile on her face, and he couldn’t help but match the gesture.
Kent reached for the bag of breakfast tacos, took one out, and worked to unwrap it while driving. He moaned as he bit in and chewed.
