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I hoped like hell I didn’t run into them again as I grabbed the last few things Grandma needed, and then I got the fuck out of Dodge.
My hands were shaking the whole drive home. Grandma was gardening when I pulled up, which was why she had asked me to go to the store for her. She wore one of those big, floppy hats and turned to wave at me.
I grabbed the bags and got out, forcing myself to smile and pretend nothing happened.
“Got everything?”
“Yep. I’ll put it away for you.”
“Thank you, Riven. You’re the best.”
Ignoring the fact that she couldn’t be more wrong, I nodded, then went to put the groceries away.
After that, I left through the back door and headed over to the garage. The whole time I showered, I tried to forget everything about this day—from losing my shit with Wayne, to seeing Becca, and fuck, even the way Parrish’s eyes had been kind like he wanted to console me. I didn’t need that shit. Didn’t need anyone to take care of me, and it pissed me off that he thought I did.
My head was crowded with too many thoughts. Grandma called about dinner, and I told her I wasn’t hungry.
Could that little girl be mine? Was Rex Hunt raising my kid? I would kill him if that was the case, which reminded me that Christ, I’d be the world’s worst father outside of him.
It was ten when lights pushed through the slats in the blinds. I immediately shoved to my feet, my nape tingling with awareness. I didn’t try to hide that I was there. I pulled the door open—and let out a relieved breath when I saw it was Parrish, which was followed quickly by a flood of anger at myself for feeling that way and at him for always fucking being there and inserting himself in my life so much.
“What do you want?” I asked the second he got out of the truck.
“She’s not yours.”
Damned if some of the pressure that had built inside me didn’t ease.
He had his hands in his pockets as he climbed the step to the cement landing that led into my little apartment.
“How do you know?”
“Because I paid for the DNA test myself, Riv. Bec and I wanted to be sure. Rex was being a dick to her when Lainey was born. Used it as an excuse to punish Bec, telling her the baby wasn’t his, that she didn’t keep her legs closed and shit like that.”
“Did he forget his dick was inside those legs?” Somehow men always seemed to disengage themselves from responsibility when it came to kids. My own dad had done the same thing to my mom, only she didn’t want me either, which was where Grandma had come into the picture.
“I know. But that’s just Rex. He’s a piece of shit.” When I didn’t respond right away, he added, “She’s not yours.” He tugged a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. “I would never lie to you about something like that.”
For whatever reason, I believed him. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from taking it and looking at the results that showed that Lainey was Rex’s. Deep down I had to have known. Grandma didn’t tell me right away that Becca had Rex’s baby, but if she had wondered who the kid belonged to, she wouldn’t have kept that from me.
“She was fucking him before I went inside.” Which I’d thought anyway.
“Yeah,” he answered simply.
I grabbed the pack of cigarettes I had inside, lit one, and sat on the edge of the cement. When Parrish did the same, I told him, “You can leave now.”
“Bec’s been through a lot. I know she screwed up, but you know what it’s like for her. She’s afraid of being alone, of being unattached. She’s scared of saying no, and I guarantee you the only reason she was sleeping with Rex was because she was worried about you not wanting her anymore.”
“So this is my fault?” I snapped, but the thing was, I knew his words were true. I’d been pulling away from Becca even before that shit had gone down outside the Homestead. I’d been tired of the heaviness of this life even back then.
“No.”
“Is he good to her?” I asked, despite knowing the answer.
“No. He’s not physically abusive, if that’s your question. I’d kill him if he laid a hand on any of them. Actually, Dad would too. He doesn’t have many lines he won’t cross, and that’s one of them. But he has no real relationship with the kids. Becca takes care of them. Rex comes and goes as he pleases, fucks whom he pleases, and half the time I give them money to make ends meet.”
“Shit.” I took a drag of my smoke, hating the taste and wondering why I even did it.
