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I growled when Parrish took it out of my hand and put it out. “You were frowning at it.” He chuckled softly. Our arms brushed, warm skin against warm skin, and though I told myself I should, I didn’t pull away.
“Thank you, Parrish. For taking care of her.” Because while I was done with Becca and hadn’t had feelings for her in a long time, she was still a victim of our environment, just like the rest of us. All of us were fuckups, only in different ways.
“Is there any chance for the two of you? She needs out of here, and I know you want out of here…”
I whipped my head in his direction, jaw tense. “You ate my cum a week ago and you’re asking me that now?”
“Believe me, it’s not easy, but I gotta ask for her. I hate the situation she’s in, that those little girls don’t have a dad they can love and respect, and I worry like hell that they’ll fall into the same pattern. As much as I want you, they’re more important.”
“We’re not fucking around again,” I answered, fingers feeling empty without the cigarette.
“You’re not answering my question.”
“The answer is no. I can’t. I want the best for her, want her as far away from your family as she can get, but I can’t be with her.” Hell, as far as I was concerned, I wouldn’t ever be with anyone again. People always let you down, and that included me. If it wasn’t someone messing with my emotions, it would be me doing it to them. Life was easier alone.
“Yeah…I thought you’d say that.” Parrish nudged my arm, then kept his tight up against it. “Think you can keep from shoving Wayne at work next week? All he did was ask you to go out for a drink.”
“Fuck.” I rubbed a hand over my face, frustration bubbling inside me. I really was a screwup. “I don’t like to be touched by people I don’t know or trust. Not like that. And at the same time he mentioned your uncle’s bar…”
“Shit. I didn’t think about that part. He’s cool, but we’re lucky it was him. Smitty or Harold wouldn’t have been as understanding.”
I heard the warning in his voice: don’t let it happen again.
“What is this we? I’m lucky. We’re not a package deal. Stop feeling an obligation to get my life on track because you feel bad about what happened. It was my choice, and I went through with it.”
“I’ve spent my whole adult life trying to right their wrongs, Riv. It’s not just you.”
I unexpectedly flinched. Did I think I was special to him? That wasn’t something I wanted either, so I wasn’t sure where the reaction had come from…but while hearing this wasn’t something new to me, it did make my insides twist up.
“Why didn’t you just leave this town?” Asking the question frustrated me, but I didn’t take it back. Clearly, Parrish was staying for now, and he found every way he could to engage me. There didn’t seem to be any getting around it.
“At first? I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to leave my home. What the fuck would I do anywhere other than here? It’s all I know. After that, because of Bec and the girls. If I’m not here to make sure they’re okay, who will?”
“That’s why Bec won’t leave either. What you said first. This is all she knows too,” I reminded him. “I’m not saying she shouldn’t, just that it’s not that easy.”
He blinked a few times as if he hadn’t thought of it that way before, at least not in comparison to himself. “I know. So I guess I’ll be here to take care of them.”
“They’re not your responsibility.”
“Would you leave Betsy?”
Well, shit. He had me there and he knew it. There was no chance in hell I would ever leave her again.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Parrish
I shouldn’t still be here. It surprised me that Riven hadn’t told me to leave already. We were sitting on the cement slab, legs out in front of us, backs against the house, arms touching.
The conversation about Becca and his grandma had been abandoned. My good sense told me to leave, my guilt too, but I didn’t listen to either. Becca had already been hurt enough, and knowing how she felt about Riven should be another reason for me not to want to fuck around with him again, but I was here…and hoping. Maybe I was more of a bastard than I thought. Maybe there was more of Dad and Rex in me than I wanted to admit, because I was sitting here, only thinking about myself.
But then, even without the possibility of an orgasm, which realistically might not be on the table again, I would still sit here as long as Riven let me. He’d fascinated me all my life. When we were little and Rex would pick on me, Riv never did. He used to tell my brother to cut me some slack or to leave me alone. And when Rex would try to get me to do shit we shouldn’t, illegal or otherwise, Riven would always try and steer him away from me.
