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“Remember when I was eleven and we saw that Ms. Watson, my old first-grade teacher, had left the window in her car down enough that I could get my arm inside? Her purse was in the car, and Rex told me to steal it.” Christ, I hadn’t thought about that in a long-ass time. It had just popped into my head tonight.
“Yep.”
“I was scared because I’d never stolen something like that before. I mean, maybe some small stuff from the store, but I’d never stolen personal property, and definitely not from someone I knew.” Riven didn’t respond, and as the past unfolded in my mind, I kept talking. “I was scared and didn’t want to do it. I mean, I did because I wanted to impress you guys—my dad too—but I felt bad. Rex was giving me shit about it and calling me names. I started to cry, and he laughed at me, told me if I didn’t do it, he was going to tell my dad. We all knew he’d have been pissed at me for missing an opportunity like that, so I was about to give in when you told Rex to leave me alone, busted the window with your elbow, and stole the purse yourself.”
I still remembered how bad my legs had hurt as we’d run away, as I’d tried to keep up with the two older boys, both faster than me. It was Riven who had come back for me. Riven who had hidden me when the cops drove by. Rex had just saved himself like he always did.
Fuck, how could I have forgotten stories like that? When Riven got locked up, and then once he’d come back, I’d been blinded by the things he had done—that yes, were wrong—and I hadn’t remembered the ways he’d tried to help me…or talk Rex out of shit he shouldn’t be doing.
“What’s your point? That I was a thief? I know that without you reminding me.”
“No.” I shook my head. “That you were good to me. You tried to keep Rex from picking on me, and keep me from getting in trouble.”
He let out an annoyed breath. “I busted a good woman’s window, stole her purse, and gave her money to your brother and your dad, and you’re trying to make a hero out of me? I was a thief, and I was wrong. There’s no getting around that.”
No, there wasn’t, but then, not everything was black and white either, was it? There were gray areas, even if ultimately what Riven had done was wrong.
“You were too young for that shit,” he added.
“You were doing it at that age.”
“That doesn’t mean you should have been, or that I should have been. I’d spent my life hating the world, Parrish. I was angry at everything. I was already fucked up. That didn’t mean you had to be too.”
But it had still meant something to me back then, and it meant something to me now. “Why do you say you’d spent your life angry and hating the world as if you don’t now? I mean, not trying to be a dick, but that’s still you.”
He chuckled. “Prick.”
“Takes one to know one.” I grinned, nudging his arm again. Riven inhaled a few deep lungfuls of air. “You like it outside…being in the fresh air. I’ve seen you do that when we’re working too.”
“Feels more pure than the air outside the prison. I might have only had a short sentence, but I don’t think I believed I’d ever get out. Even when I was outside, I felt claustrophobic there.” He adjusted his backward ball cap, making our arms rub up against each other again. He’d told me earlier he didn’t like people he didn’t know or trust to touch him, but he didn’t seem to mind when it was me.
I slid my hand close, drew circles on his arm with my finger.
“What are you doing?”
“Touching you.”
“Why?” But he didn’t tell me to stop and didn’t pull away.
I shrugged. “Because I like to…and because you let me.” My fingers danced up his forearm, the hairs rising and angling my way as if chasing the sensation. “Because it’s been a long time since you’ve fucked someone, and I still want my teenage fantasy to come true.” I turned slightly, following the path his arm set up for me, traveling up his biceps and under the sleeve of his shirt. “You feel incredible, Riv. You can hate me and the world all you want, but your body’s reaction to me doesn’t lie. You want me too. Let me make you feel good.” He deserved to feel good.
I leaned in as if I was going to kiss him, and he turned his head again, then dipped it and bit my finger. I hissed at the sharp pain because he hadn’t done it lightly. I took that as a yes, or at least a maybe, so I gave him another chance to say yes or no.
