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Fitz signed himself out of class and drove me home rather than making me wait for one of my parents to come pick me up.
“And you finished the test, but when he went to collect it, you puked all over his shoes.”
“Yeah.” That definitely happened too. It’s no wonder I got picked on mercilessly in high school.
“Sometimes it’s important to listen to what our bodies are trying to tell us.” He kisses the side of my head. “I’ve got you, Tinsel. I’m here if you need me.”
I scoot back even farther, because he’s warm and smells delicious, but more than that, I’ve had fantasies about being this close to Fitz for years.
This is dangerous territory for my heart.
I still can’t force myself to move away.
“I mean it. If you don’t know it by now, then…” Fitz exhales heavily, and I pick up the faint scent of beer on his breath. “Then I guess it’s time I do a better job of proving it to you.”
I’m fairly sure he falls asleep not long after the bus takes off. I, however, lie awake for quite some time. My mind won’t stop running through every second of the night and my interactions with all three men I’m currently sharing a tour bus with.
* * *
I wake up alone, fielding multiple calls and birthday texts from family and friends. I ignore the lengthy text from my most recent ex. It’s not worth opening. I think he needs to go through the stages of grief or something, but I’m not going to let him emotionally terrorize me while he’s on that ride.
Ridebrings my brain to the trip back to the bus last night. The memories file through in the sexiest replay imaginable. The way Ramsey’s strong form felt pressing into mine. The warm heat of his skin. The delicious taste of his lips as he devoured me whole with kisses like I’ve never experienced.
My hands fly to cover my face as I smile like a total goofball.
Ramsey is gorgeous.
Am I supposed to be embarrassed about what happened?
He seemed into it.
Fitz and Warrick were only feet away during the whole exchange. Then Fitz’s story about high school. It takes way too long to circle back around to tentative excitement, but when it hits, it hits hard.
My chances of ever presenting dropped dramatically today,butI had what felt like a full-blown wave of heat last night. My two older sisters have shared more details than I ever needed about what to expect.
Hope is a complicated emotion. Every time I’ve gotten excited or felt optimistic before, I ended up crushed when it didn’t happen.
I can’t tie alphas to me if I might never have a heat cycle. It wouldn’t be fair.
I’ve had that talk with more than one doctor. My chances of having kids of my own plummet if I don’t present. Without a heat to boost my fertility, it would be a slim chance I could conceive naturally.
Alphas and omegas are ruled by our impulses.
Alphas breed omegas.
Omegas love kids and want large families.
I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule, but I’m not one of them. It’s not that I want to have kids tomorrow or anything. I’m still young, but I hate the thought of it never being an option.
It literally makes my heart ache when I think about it. I’ve always known that I’d like to have two or three children. Maybe more, if my partners were open to the idea of a big family and we could financially support everyone without a problem.
Adoption is an option I’m open to. But even then, I’d still love to experience being pregnant at least once in my life. I don’t know why, but watching my older sisters, it just seems like such a special time in a person’s life.
Don’t do this. You’ll drive yourself crazy.
The longer I’m in a confined space with three very compatible alphas, the more their presence seems to jump-start my system. Or maybe I’m grasping for straws because I’m desperate.
It’s hard to tell.
