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It had been years since I’d seen a genuine smile from her, but I swore to myself that I would doanythingI had to see it again.
Vic
Looks like you can be trained after all, kitten
The sound of my own breathing was howling in my ears as I looked at Kohl.
I’d come so close to never seeing them again.
I’d come so close to never seeinganythingagain.
“Vic, are you okay?” they asked, cutting me a sidelong look as we headed for the opening to the tunnel.
“Okay?” I asked, my voice sounding tinny, hollow.
I’d killed somebody. That’s who I was now, a murderer.
And it’d been soeasy.
Kohl stopped us just outside of the moonlight’s glow, gently taking my hand and pulling me to their chest. “You did what you had to, Vic. That doesn’t make you a bad person.”
I looked up into Kohl’s face, their dark eyes swallowing the little light in the tunnel, my tongue snaking out to wet my dry lips.
When I reached to touch their face, reminding myself that they were here, that they werewhole, my hands were shaking so violently I couldn’t stop them.
Sure, killing somebody didn’t inherently make me a bad person. I knew that.
Enjoying it, though, that was a whole other problem. My soul was already tainted, swathes of black growing like moldy spores I wouldn’t be able to scrub off no matter how hard I tried.
Kohl put their hand over mine, and I sucked in a breath.
Every fiber of my being wanted to rip myself to shreds. To tear and destroy until there was nothing left.
“I-I-I feel so out of control,” I admitted in a harsh whisper.
For a moment, I’d thought they’d killed them. That Kohl was somewhere out there, broken and bleeding and dead by that worthless scumbag’s hand.
I wouldn’t have even gotten to say goodbye. They wouldn’t even know how I—
“Hurt me,” Kohl murmured, gripping my fingers and pulling them from their face to lie against the initial over their heart, hidden by the heavy fabric of their cropped hoodie.
“What?” I asked, aghast, even as my blood started to pump harder. My heart picking up at the thought of listening to Kohl beg for me again.
I shouldn’t want that. I should want to kiss away their hurt. To build them up into something magical. Not to reduce them into a snotty, sniveling mess as they wailed for me.
But I couldn’t deny the way that my body reacted to the idea.
There was something twisted in me that needed to use them.
“Hurt me, Vic. I can see you’re spinning out.” They cupped their hands around the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. “Let me give you an outlet. Hurt me like he hurt you.”
Kohl tasted like blood, sweat, and ash. Like sin incarnate. My own personal slice of hell brought to life.
“Purpose,” I whispered, giving them another sweet kiss.
The darkness was threatening to swallow me up, dragging on my limbs and making my mind race. But the moment I circled my hand around their throat and saw the way that their breathing took a sharp uptick before I closed off their air, it started to quiet.
Kohl’s hands snaked around my waist, their fingers firm against my bare skin as I tightened my grip.
