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“I heard that!” Drew calls through the door.
“Good!” Jane and I shout back in unison.
“I shouldn’t be mean to him,” I say, standing slowly. “He did get rid of Mandy for me.”
“Yeah.” Jane thinks for a minute. “But he hates her guts, too. So I think he got plenty of personal satisfaction out of that one.”
“Why does he hate her?” I wash my hands in the sink as Jane leans against the wall and talks.
“Why do you think? For what she did to you.”
“Why would Drew care?”
“Because he—ooooooohhhhhhh.” Jane’s voice winds down like a toy running out of batteries. “Shit. Was he really the fourth guy in the video?” I can tell she doesn’t want to believe it. I can’t blame her. I don’t want to believe it.
I’ve spent four years wishing it weren’t true.
Chapter 20
“Yeah. He was.” I’ve never, ever admitted that to anyone. Not Stacia. Not the secondary therapists. Not Daddy or Mom or...anyone.
“Fuck,” she says under her breath.
“Right.”
“So he just sat there on the couch and did...nothing?”
Jane gets it. Instantly.
“Right.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“I know.”
“No, Lindsay. It really really makes no sense. Drew loved you so much.”
I can’t have this conversation. Not now. Not here.
Maybe not ever.
This was a huge mistake.
“Lindsay, after you...after the attack, Drew was hospitalized, too.”
I feel like my body is too big and too small at the same time.
“What?”
“You probably had no idea. No one knows exactly what happened, because he was in the hospital and then suddenly he was shipped overseas for his first tour in Afghanistan.”
“His first tour?”
“Yeah. He did two tours. Came home with a bunch of medals and started his security company with some guy from the service. Now he provides security for a ton of politicians and my mom says he’s a big deal in the field.”
As Jane goes on about Drew, my mind tries to wrap itself around what she’s saying. I hold up one hand.
“Wait. He was hospitalized after my attack? Why? What’d he do—strain his neck trying to get a better look? He’s on the video doing nothing. Just sitting there. Watching. Watching them rape me.”
