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“Of this.” I look down at my heavy stomach. “Skid, I can’t even take care of myself, you’ve done everything around here, you’ve gotten me everything I need, you even bring me food to make sure I eat.” I hold up the cardboard container in my hand as evidence. “How am I gonna take care of this baby when it comes?” I sigh, feeling useless.
“I ain’t goin’ anywhere. I’m gonna help you with that too.” He takes the food out of my hand and places it beside his, shifting a little closer and letting his hand stroke over my tummy.
“You are gonna be a phenomenal mom, Addy. Just listen to yourself, your kid ain’t even here yet, and already you're worried about lettin’ him down. That proves that there's no way on this earth that you will.”
“I can’t rely on you forever. We’re not your responsibility.” I take in a shaky breath and wipe away my tears.
“None of that matters. You should know that by now.”
“It’s not just that, Skid, I’ve got no one else. What am I supposed to do when I go into labor? What if I’m on my own?” I think about the women in the village who have died birthing their children. I know things will be different here, there are hospitals and professionals, but the thought of being with strangers makes me nervous.
“You got my number, all you have to do is call me,” he assures me.
“And you’ll come with me?” I check although I’m pretty sure I already know the answer. Skid has been there for me through all of this, he’s taken me to every single doctor's appointment and sonogram. I don’t know why I’m so surprised that he would see it through to the end.
“And what if I can’t get hold of you?” More tears come as the overwhelming situation I’m in becomes more and more threatening.
“Look, you're gettin’ real close now, you're bound to get worried about stuff. Would it make you feel better if I slept here on the couch until he gets here?” he offers like it’s no big deal, and my body reacts before my head does when I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him tight against me.
“Steady, darlin’, don’t get too excited. Junior ain’t ready yet.” He chuckles as he pats my tummy and when he puts space between us again I instantly regret my actions.
Nothing like this has happened since that time I almost kissed him in the kitchen. I didn’t mean to push anything, but I can’t help my feelings. This man has been my savior, and my affection for him seems to grow by the day.
“Do you mean it, will you stay?” I ask, blinking back tears. I still don’t know what happened to his wife. I’ve heard so many different stories from the church but never felt brave enough to ask him. I’m so scared that if I push too hard he’ll back away.
“Of course I will.” He nods back at me before picking up my food and placing it back in my hands, then picking up his own he settles back into the couch.
“Thanks,” I whisper so quietly he doesn’t even notice. His eyes are fixed on the television, concentrating on the gameshow that's on and oblivious to the fact that he’s changed my life.
“What ya still doin’ up?” His voice tugs me out of the memory and I quickly shake my head and focus on him. He’s not wearing a shirt and his legs look like tree trunks in the tight boxer shorts he’s got on.
“Can’t sleep.” I smile, getting up from the couch and joining him in the kitchen.
“You want some tea? Carly used to swear by this chamomile shit.” I don’t know if he meant to mention her, but it feels like a relief that he has. Around me, he pretends she never existed, but I can feel her presence. It’s impossible not to.
“Sure.” I nod back, hauling myself up on the kitchen counter and watching him fill the kettle before he puts it on the stove.
“Was this your place together?” I ask, looking around the space surrounding us. There are too many nice touches here for his answer to be no, and Skid proves he doesn’t want to talk about it when he nods his head stiffly and keeps his eyes facing down.
“You must have loved her very much.” I smile sadly at him. And although he says nothing, I see the way his eyes start to fill.
“More than can be explained,” he eventually answers in a gruff voice that sounds pained.
“I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you.” When I reach out my hand to touch his arm he stares at it, making me wonder if he wants it there.
“I hope you never have to find out.” He swallows thickly, keeping his head low and surprising me when he shifts a little closer to me.
“And do you think you could ever…” I can’t believe I’m gonna ask him this. “Do you think you might be able to feel that way about someone else?” I look up at him hopefully.
“I’m starting to.” He shocks me further when he places his body between my knees, his fingers sliding the hair that’s fallen into my face behind my ear before he draws me closer to his lips. He stares right at me, almost daring me to stop him before they touch.
The tension between us makes my blood hot and my skin cold, then just as his breath touches mine the kettle starts to whistle, tearing him away from me again. He goes to move but I tug him back, kissing him fiercely and clinging my arms around his neck tight. He kisses me with the same desperation, gripping one hand in my hair as he reaches across to the stove with his other to take off the kettle.
Once he silences it, he holds my head in both his hands, kissing me slow and deep, in a way that makes my pussy throb and my stomach flip.
“I don’t know how this is supposed to work,” he admits, keeping my head in his hands.
“We’ll figure it out,” I whisper.
