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While my dad hadn’t intended it, he’d wanted nothing more than for me to find my career path, my life’s calling, even when I was still with Mitchell. I’d chosen teaching because it seemed the best fit for me with my maternal instinct, as Cynthia called it.
But did I really want to spend the next however many years going to college just so I could have a career, as opposed to a job I loved that paid the bills?
I’d been so determined to forge ahead and make something of myself, I’d forgotten to think about what would make me happy.
While I could fully admit waiting tables wasn’t my life calling, what about nannying? I adored what I was doing for Knox and Juniper. I knew I was good at it.
My eyes had been opened, and ideas were filling my head, ideas that made me smile. I’d spent a lot of time figuring out what career path might suit me. I wasn’t going to change plans on a whim. But I definitely had some soul searching to do, and fast.
CHAPTER30
QUINCY
Despite having slept no more than an hour or two last night thanks to racing, life-altering thoughts that stemmed from yesterday’s brunch, I was feeling light and optimistic, humming quietly to Juniper as the sun rose in a dramatic splash of violets morphing into soft pinks and corals over the lake. It might be three days before Thanksgiving, but Monday had dawned a breathtaking—if brisk—morning.
June Bug and I were sitting on the shore with a doubled-up blanket beneath me and the baby in a sling on my chest. I’d put her fuzzy white polar bear hat on her head and wrapped a heavier blanket around the two of us to keep us toasty as we listened to several birds serenade us and watched a pair of hearty ducks paddling across the water.
Though Knox’s shoreline was currently empty of any benches, seats, or docks, it had the potential to be the heart of his outdoor space. I could easily imagine Juniper learning to fish off a dock as a toddler and sunbathe on the shore as a teenager. I could picture Knox helping her onto a family boat—and then holding my hand as I climbed on, maybe with another baby in my arms.
The image in my mind was so vivid, so easy to see all of a sudden, that it took my breath away with longing.
Thatwas what I wanted. I wanted Knox and Juniper. I wanted a family, but not just any family. I wanted Knox’s family. His babies and him.
As if I summoned him with my thoughts, I heard the door to the house close behind me. I took in a shaky breath, straightening, preparing.
Juniper’s gaze locked on something behind me.
“Is that your daddy?” I asked her, then brushed a dark lock of hair off her forehead. I knew without looking Knox was getting close. I could feel him in my blood.
He came to the end of the path and sat on the blanket next to us.
“Morning,” he said, his voice still with a hint of sleepy gravel.
“Hey,” I said, smiling at him, trying to hold in all the feelings that were on the verge of bursting out of me.
“It’s early. Are you warm enough?”
“We’re toasty in here, aren’t we, June Bug?”
Juniper reached for Knox with a toothless grin and big eyes.
“You want your daddy.” I raised my brows at him to see if he was ready for his daughter.
Knox’s face brightened as he gave the baby an exaggerated smile. “Come here, princess. I need morning kisses.”
I watched father and daughter laugh and kiss and play, my heart threatening to explode with affection and hope. And nervous energy.
“Do you have time to talk, or do you need to get to work soon?” I asked as Knox rubbed noses with his daughter.
His smile slipped away as he supported Juniper in a standing position between his legs. She couldn’t stand on her own yet, but she loved to try, loved to bounce with someone holding her. She was building her muscles, getting ready, and would master it before we knew it.
“Sure. We can talk. Want to go inside for it? Get this girl warmed up?”
“Good idea.” I’d bundled her in a thick one-piece footie outfit so that her feet would stay covered, but now that she was out of the sling and my blanket, it was too cold to have her out for long.
We stood, and Knox walked next to me, carrying Juniper inside, still playful with his daughter but subdued. Was that my imagination or was he concerned about our upcoming discussion? Maybe he thought I was going to quit early. I allowed the faintest private smile to creep onto my lips, anticipating his reaction when I said basically the opposite.
A few minutes later, we had June settled on the living room floor with some toys. I sat on one side of the sectional, the blanket pulled around me even when Knox started the fireplace. He came over and sat on the other side, a few inches away.
