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I wasn’t a father. I couldn’t be.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and I knew without looking it was Ava. Shit. Ava. She was still waiting, and there was a baby in my front seat, and what the hell was a person supposed to do with a spare baby?
I couldn’t think straight, but I knew I was in way over my head. I’d take her to Ava, and she’d help me figure out what to do.
I went back to the door and leaned in over the carrier—over thebaby—and stopped short. A handle jutted up, so I grabbed it and carefully tugged the carrier out enough to flip it around so I could really see the infant.
She slept on, not noticing she’d been moved, having no idea that her life had just been gigantically altered when her mother had deserted her.
As I studied her fuzzy patch of light hair, chubby cheeks, and doll-like eyelashes, my chest contracted with sadness for this tiny girl. Sadness for her and a stirring of anger at Gina. What the hell was she thinking? Shehadn’t signed up for this?Welcome to life, honey.
Anger wouldn’t solve my problem, wouldn’t solve this baby’s problems. I didn’t have the first clue what would, but standing here in my driveway wasn’t the answer.
Slamming down on my emotions, I went into practical mode.
Babies rode in the backseat. I knew that much.
I pulled the carrier out, opened the back door, and tried to figure out how to install it. I didn’t have a clue. I glanced to the east, toward Henry’s. If I took a few steps to the end of my driveway, I’d be able to see the sign. It was that close.
I set the carrier on the seat with the baby facing forward, so I could keep an eye on her in the mirror, and got in. There was undoubtedly a way to belt her in, but I had no idea how. I’d drive the block and a half slowly, carefully. There was almost no traffic anyway on this gloomy Wednesday afternoon in the off-season. I knew it wasn’t ideal, but I needed a class in car seat 101.
When I climbed into the driver’s seat, I checked the baby—Juniper—in the mirror and saw she was still sleeping, so peacefully, so naively.
My whole body felt shaky, nervous as fuck that something would happen between my house and Henry’s that would endanger the helpless baby. With a breath that did nothing to settle me, I backed out and drove the block and a half to the parking lot, relieved to see it was only partly full, the lunch crowd mostly gone.
I pulled into a spot near the door, put the car in park, and exhaled. My gaze went to the mirror again in time to see the baby turn her head, her eyes still closed.
Okay. I’d gotten her here, and she appeared to still be okay.
What now?
I couldn’t walk into Henry’s with a baby. Word would be all over town before I could settle in at a table. There’d probably be speculation that I kidnapped her or stole her, because I was the least likely to actuallyhavea baby.
Except you might have a baby.
Yeah, I couldn’t process that right now. Not even close.
I took my phone out and saw that Ava had indeed messaged me not to rush, that she had coffee and was fine, watching her fiancé run the kitchen.
With a quiet, semihysterical laugh to myself, I wished coffee would make me fine, but I wasn’t sure anything could, maybe not ever again.
My hands were shaking so badly I could barely type, but I finally got a text to her.
I’m in the parking lot. I need you to come out to my SUV, please.
CHAPTER4
KNOX
Ispent the next five minutes—which seemed like an hour—flipping my gaze between the door Ava would come out, as if she could singlehandedly save me and fix my problem, and the baby in the mirror.
Finally the restaurant door opened, and Ava emerged. She smiled as she spotted me. I couldn’t seem to smile back.
I rolled my window down as she approached.
“Hey, partner. What’s going on?” Her brows went from raised in greeting to puzzled.
“Something happened,” I said, “and I don’t know what the fuck to do.” I pointed over my shoulder to the backseat.
