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And here I am, thinking just like him. Like an asshole. Again.
Fuck.
“I’m not so great right now, Laken. I was hoping for some time with Mack. Alone.”
“Oh, sure,” she says, standing awkwardly in heeled boots that look way too fancy and are probably borrowed from Scarlett. “I’ll get out of your hair. No problem.”
“I can help you out with that horse another time, if you’d like,” Mack offers, rubbing at the back of his neck, which is still the color of a tomato.
Laken’s stride stutters a bit at his words. “That would be great, thanks.”
I turn my back on them and walk through the living room, into the kitchen. There’s only so much of their polite yet clumsy exchange I can handle. It’s too fucking strange, and I’m already at my limit for life-altering events to worry about.
Besides, whatever’s going on here is really none of my business. Despite her usual demeanor, Laken’s an adult and can make her own decisions. And she could do a hell of a lot worse than Mack–even if he is still pining for his ex.
The fridge is well stocked, and although the beer I’d suggested would be my normal go-to, the thought now somehow turns my stomach. I reach for a bottle of water instead, and it’s almost gone by the time Mack joins me.
He seems intent on avoiding eye contact as he grabs a couple of beers and motions for me to follow him to the backyard. “I need some air.”
Silently, I keep pace with his long stride and brush a dusting of snow off the seat he offers me.
We sit, staring into the fenced-off, snow-covered yard, and I listen to some kids playing a few houses over, Lacy’s words still running through my head, like backup vocals to their joyous sounds.
“Listen.” Mack breaks the uncomfortable tension. “If you don’t want me to help her, I won’t. I’m not as ignorant as you think, and I know it bothers you.”
“I don’t want to talk about that right now,” I snap, my voice rougher than intended.
“All right. Well, something’s clearly on your mind. So why don’t you just spill it.”
I sigh, and the weight of the past five days pushes down on me, sinking me farther into the chair. My limbs feel like lead, and the ache in my chest threatens to crush me.
Where do I even start?
“I screwed up again, and I don’t know how to fix it. Don’t know if I should even try. I’m not sure there’s any redemption for me this time.”
“Did Lacy toss you out on your ass for being a control freak?”
I whip my head to him, my heart banging hard against my ribs. “How the fuck did you know that?”
He shrugs and offers me one of the beers. “With you? It’s a given.”
“Glad to know I’m so predictable.” The winter air chills my bones but does nothing to ease the fire swirling in my gut.
“So what did you do to sabotage yourself this time?”
Sabotage? The word sounds so foreign. Not because I haven’t done a hell of a lot of it in my lifetime, but because the idea that I might be doing it to myself never fucking occurred to me.
“I went behind Lacy’s back and gave her folks some cash to stay the hell out of her life. They were going to cause trouble—Mama had already waved a big golden carrot in front of them—and I thought I’d cut them off at the pass.”
“So you tried to solve a problem that didn’t exist yet by throwing money at it?”
His words echo Lacy almost to the letter. How many times did she tell me the way I used my money was an issue? She told me it was too much. Asked me to tone it down.
Why the hell didn’t any of it register?
“Yeah, I guess that’s exactly what I did.” I finally crack the beer open and take a sip, hoping the alcohol will ease my tension. “She was furious when she found out.”
“Aw hell… You really are great at digging yourself those holes.” Mack’s reaction is to be expected, but it pisses me off anyway.
