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Then
THREE MEETINGS. THE FIRST TIME I MET HIM, I DIDN‘T KNOW HOW HE WOULD IMPACT MY LIFE FOREVER. HE BROUGHT FEAR, LOATHING…
What’s with the gum?”
“I figure I have enough vices. Recreational drug use, occasional drinking, tattoos, I figure mom has enough, don’t you? I’m trying to knock one off, so I picked smoking.”
She makes a good point. I’m surprised she’s even thinking about what Mom thinks. She’s trying. That’s a good thing for them, and Mom’s sanity. Maybe now Mom will stop threatening to throw a vat of holy water on her to release the hounds of hell nipping at her heels. The thought of that had Shay and I laughing hysterically.
“Hey, do you think Landon’s happy?”
“What do you mean?” Shay pauses for a second, pulling at her short black hair, then looks at me before turning back to continue applying her makeup in my bedroom mirror. “He’s a guy—as long as he gets fed and laid regularly, he’s packing and good to go.”
I stand next to her in the mirror, brushing my hair, chewing on my lip.
She stops, looking at me through the mirror with almost the same dark brown eyes as mine. “You did give it up to him, didn’t you? You’ve been with him for well over a year, Lacey!”
My eyes go wide. “Shut up before mom comes home and hears you!” Looking away, I pretend to brush my blouse off. “Yes, we did after my birthday.”
She smiles, pushing my shoulder. I give her a shy smile. I hate talking about this stuff. The only person I feel comfortable talking about stuff like this with is Landon. I know, how pathetic. He makes me feel good and at ease. There’s no shyness with him. Just love. He understands me. He didn’t pressure me or even ask me once. I brought it up. hHe only wanted to make sure I was ready, that I felt safe and one hundred percent sure I wanted to give this to him. And I did.
“I thought you were going to say you were going to take Mom’s never-ending advice and wait to be married. That would have been a dicey risk. Imagine on your wedding night finding out this is bad shit, and now you’re stuck with it for the rest of your life?”
“That is what I’m saying, Shay. Landon is the first person I’ve been with. What if...he’s been with a lot more people. What if he gets bored? The first time wasn’t good. But it’s gotten way better,” I quickly say. “I love him, Shay. I know he cares for me, but we’re going to be going to the same college in a couple of weeks.” I twist my lips, hesitating to explain my thoughts.
“What if he decides he needs a change, that our relationship is too confining? We’re with each other a lot as it is. Lately, he’s been busy. I haven’t seen as much of him. Plus he’s working at the bar, and I’m starting this job at the church that mom forced on me.” I huff. “Do you think he’s losing interest?”
She puts down her mascara and sits on the edge of the dresser, facing me. “Are you kidding me? If his head was stuck any further up you he’d suffocate.”
“Shay,” I say, almost blushing.
“It’s the truth. He’s made an impressive turnaround in a year: from manwhore to lovesick sap. You know a guy is in it for you when he turns down free pussy. I even threw it at him once, to test him out.”
“Are you for real?” I say, biting down on my molars, giving her a death stare.
“Don’t combust. I wouldn’t do that to you. You know it. I was doing it for you. He passed the test.”
I place my hand on my hip. “Some sister you are.”
“I am! If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have gotten your butt in gear and womaned up to your feelings. Here you would be, mere days from graduating, celebrating getting into college, without the proper sound dicking you’re going to get at the end of the night.”
“Geez, if mom hears you talking like this she’s going to have a fit. I’m having cold sweats just thinking about it. She’s going to break out the Bible and the vat of holy water for both of us.”
“So what’s fucking new?” She turns around, running her hand through her short black hair, fluffing it up. “She has a fit every other second of the day when she thinks about me.”
“If you’d stop antagonizing her on purpose—”
“Oh, please, Lace, by living my life? Not choosing to go to church every Sunday and sit in front of Pastor Ricardo like the good little girl she wants, with my legs closed? What kind of life is that? I didn’t pretend that was my life when I lived in this house.”
That’s for sure. “I thought she was going to stroke out the first time she saw your tattoo.”
She laughs, putting the finishing touches on her makeup. “Fifteen and hell-bent on doing things my way. Those were the days.” She sighs, wistful.
“They still are the days. You haven’t changed.”
“Don’t I know it? Come on, let me do your makeup for you, give it some extra oomph.”
“I’ve already done my makeup.”
