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“What’s your dream?”
“To be with the woman of my dreams. To have the chance just to be close enough to her again, to at least be allowed to touch the beauty that is her. That’s the best fucking dream come true for me.”
“Landon.” Her hand covers mine, still resting on her face. She moves in, kissing each side of my chest. My eyes close at the feel of her lips then jolt as her warm mouth opens on my skin. The cool rush of air covering the spot her mouth has branded sends a need spiraling through me.
“Goddamn, Lace.” My hand smooths up her back, pressing her body fully against me. I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it. I know she can feel exactly what’s happening under this thin towel that’s masquerading as a barrier. “I wasn’t prepared for tonight—to go this far.”
“Neither was I.” Her hands caress the side of my ribs with her fingertips, dipping into sensitive grooves, sending cords of electric heat through me.
“I don’t know, Lace? What do you want? How far do you want this to go? You need to tell me, so I know exactly what not to do,” I tell her, trying to control every single breath I take.
“I want you to spend the night with me. In my bed, with nothing between us. I want you to kiss me...I want you to kiss me like there is no tomorrow. I want to get lost in us, like we are never going to part again. Even though I know when the sun comes up, we will. I’m okay with that.”
Hell, yes. I want that. But I don’t want it only for tonight. I want it every night. Forever. “I want that more than anything.” I kiss the shell of her ear. “I swear I wasn’t prepared for any of this. I want to love you in the worst way possible, but first I need to know, are you sure this is okay for you? I don’t want to hurt you, or set you back in any way.”
“As long as it’s you, I’m fine.” The tip of her finger brushes back and forth across my hardened nipple and the beautiful scroll of her name forever etched into my skin, making me groan with a restraint I hardly have.
“You want me to cry?” I rasp against her touch.
“For the right reasons.” She kisses the tip of my nipple lightly, rubbing the delicate soft pink of her lips against it.
“Oh, God help me, Lace.”
“I’m sure he will,” she says with a sweet, teasing smile.
I laugh, shaking my head at her. “Where’s your room?” She takes my hand, leading me into her room to the side of her bed.
I’ve wanted this moment for so long. I’ve imagined it—a few million times. It was always too much, too painful to realize it wasn’t going to happen. But here I am, and here she is, and it is happening. I sure as hell don’t want to mess it up with mistakes and regrets.
I stroke the side of her face slowly, kissing her lips without seeking the deep warmth and heat I crave, not yet. “I wasn’t prepared for this, Lace. I don’t have anything with me. Do you?”
“Look.” She softly says, holding her arm up. “It’s under my skin. As long as it’s there, I won’t get pregnant. I’ve been tested. I don’t have anything. You?”
This is a painful dose of reality. I don’t want to think about why she needed to have this thing inside her body. I don’t want to think why she needed to be tested. If things were as they should have been...but they’re not, and this is where we are. This talk is necessary, doesn’t mean I want to have it. I sigh. “I’ve never cheated. I’ve gotten tested with a full physical every year for my insurance. Last one was two months ago. Perfect health. Haven’t been with anyone since.”
I kiss her forehead, pulling her between my legs as I’m sitting on the bed. Staring in her eyes, it reminds me of the first time we did this. She was so young and innocent. My Lacey baby. And I was a little arrogant, and completely smitten. I part her robe, keeping my eyes on hers, clenching my fist around the fabric for control of my emotions. “Lacey baby, is this all right? If it’s not, tell me, and I’ll stop, no matter what.”
“I won’t break. I’m in your arms; I’m not breaking.”
My throat constricts, trapping the flow of words, and I try to control my voice before I speak. She leans down, kissing me, and at the same time parting her robe with my hands, taking me closer to heaven when my hand touches the curve of her ass. She drops her robe. My breath catches. She’s more beautiful than ever.
With the help of my massive erection and her hands on my thighs, the towel falls away. She looks down, her face glowing with the sweetest tint of pink. “Just the thought of you has always done that,” I tell her. She bites her lip. I run my hand over her ass and down the back of her thighs, opening her legs and pulling her forward until she’s sitting mid-thigh on my legs. She’s close enough that I can feel her heat on my erection, but not actually touching. “Touch me, Lacey. Anywhere but there,” I say, pulling her chin up “Anywhere but there, if you want this to last.”
She chuckles, and puts her hand on my chest, lightly raking her nails down. A hiss of air escapes between my clenched teeth as I watch her chest rise and fall. I palm her breasts in both hands, fondling and rubbing the sides, rotating my thumbs over hardening nipples. Her head goes back, a sweet moan falling from her parted lips.
God, it does two things to me. One I expected, and one I didn’t. Longing and pain, in the cruelest way. I hear her voice the first time I ever touched her like this, and the first time she was hurt and in pain, broken and alone in a hospital bed. “Shit.” My hands stop and slide to her face, not moving but feeling, welling up with every emotion I’ve ever felt for her: love, lust, pain, and hate. Hatred and pain run deep for the time we’ve lost, almost as deep as the love, as well as hatred of the man who did this to her and us.
She looks at me, heat still in her eyes but searching in mine. I’ve never been able to hide this from her. She knows. “Landon, no. Don’t let him.” She strokes my face between her hands, holding firm.
But I can’t help it. I feel like I’m crying for her all over again. I pull her closer, stroking her back. Pressing, joining our bodies together, pulling a noise of deep torture and pleasure from me and a moan from her as her wet heat slides against the skin of my cock. She kisses me, parting my lips with her thumb. I melt into the kiss as our bodies slowly move against each other in pleasure as her legs wrap around me. The tear I didn’t know I had falls between us.
“Every tear I’ve cried since that day has been for you. This is the first time it’s actually happened in front of you.”
“I won’t break.”
“I know.” I know.
“Do you?” She wipes away my tear. “Landon, I’m forever changed. I will not be the same again. When people look at me, they see a victim. They don’t see the person I am, or the girl I used to be, they don’t see me laughing or living. They see something left behind.
