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“That word,that act, eclipses everything I was, I am. He accomplished what he set out to do. Expose me, shame me; he was right, I will remember him forever. He’s the voice in the dark corner in the back of my head, jumping out of corners and dark creaky places. Sneaking through the halls when no one’s home. Slithering around me on the lonely streets, vanished whenever I look behind me. Creeping out of my dreams on hind legs, looming over me in the light of day making me recoil and retreat in horror.
“His mark on me was an insidious poison seeping through my life, suffocating me. Strangling the life out of all the things and precious moments of joy and happiness. For a time he broke me. Ushering in a darkness I thought I would never, never, ever recover from. I was weak. I couldn’t go on. I saw no way. Until the curse he gave me was ripped out through me in a savage brutal pain seared in my mind. It cried, and I cried.
“His cry of need eclipsed mine, and I opened my eyes. Oh God, Landon, I hate to admit this.” She takes a deep breath heavily sighing but controlling her emotions better than I have. “I’ve never admitted this before, at least not out loud. I hated him, but I was drawn to him. I couldn’t let him go. He was my baby, Jacob. I learned to love him.” She touches her forehead to mine before she goes on. “That took a lot of therapy to admit. I look at him now, and I can’t imagine not having him with me. He makes me laugh. When I’m sad, he crawls into my lap laying his head on my chest. ‘I love you, Mommy.’ It gets me every time.”
Nothing can describe how much I feel for this amazing woman. The strength she’s shown me. How her heart has this endless capacity to be refilled with love, over and over. To give it back when no one in the world would expect her to. Back then I couldn’t see past blinding anger to see how strong she could be. With or without me. “Lace—”
“No, let me finish, so you know where I am today.” I nod, letting her continue. “He didn’t break me completely. I survived. I’m here, standing tall. I’m living and learning.” She smiles. “And I can love deeply. I have fault lines and cracks, some you can see, some are hidden, but with as much time as I need, they will heal.”
She takes a deep breath, and I take it with her, amazed and in awe of who she is and the woman she’s become.
“If this is going to work, you need to let it go. Forgive yourself. Don’t give him power. He’s taken enough.”
“I’ll learn to, for you and Jacob. I will.” She shifts against me, stirring my need for her, the desire to be inside her, to feel her warm heat around me, consuming me. I kiss her neck, palming her ass, rolling her hips against my length. “Are you ready for me, Lacey baby?”
With a nod from her, I part her thighs. My fingers graze over her folds, and she exhales my name when my finger slips inside her, finding her wet, open, and completely ready for me.
“Landon,” she breathes.
“Shh...baby, I want to love you.” Lifting her up as gently as possible, I slide the head of my cock into her tight heat, sliding her halfway down. Gritting my teeth, I groan, forcing myself not to drive into her. “Damn, you’re so sweet and tight.” I lick the side of her neck, savoring the taste of her skin.
“Mm, Landon, all the way. Please don’t stop.”
“Baby, I won’t,” I rasp. Her mouth opens wide on my shoulder with a grunt as I lift my hips, bucking up, engulfed in the softness of her slick, warm body. The greatest place on earth. I pant as she rocks her hips back and forth, my hand wandering over her flushed body, caressing every part of her.
Leaning her back, I place her hands on my knees, telling her to hold on while I repeatedly lick the tips of her puckered nipples, making her pussy quiver and shake around me. My hips are pushing into her, one hand gripping her hip and the other gently playing with her clit. Spreading her wet lips open with two fingers, I press deeper in her swollen flesh, my cock filling her, driving her body wild with pleasure. Watching her writhing on my lap, I’m hypnotized by the rise and fall of her breasts.
My tongue eagerly flutters over her nipple again, sucking hard then letting it pop free of my mouth. Her body rocks forward with a needy moan, trying to pull my head back, fingers tightly fisting my hair. I catch her hand, kissing her fingers. “Baby, be careful. Come here.”
“Please, Landon,” she whimpers. “Don’t stop touching me. Touch me, please.”
“Baby, I won’t. As long as you want me, I’m here.” I kiss her lips, securely holding her in my arms that are trembling from the willpower it’s taking me not to come with each torturous movement of our bodies sliding together.
I lay her down on the bed, covering her with my body. “Lacey, I’m going to make you feel so good,” I moan against her mouth, applying gentle pressure to her hardened nipples.
“You already are.” Her mouth falls open as I rock into her harder and faster. She pants, her head sinking back into the pillow. “So good.”
Our mouths fuse, same as our bodies, tongues tangling in grunts and moans and an overwhelming need to be closer to anyone than I’ve ever been in my life. I surge into her, holding her hips, her holding my face. Wet, slapping noises echo in the room as the bed creaks between whimpers of pleasure. My hand slips between us again, stroking and rubbing that swollen bundle of nerves to give her everything she needs.
Only then, when I hear her cry of release, do I allow myself to let go, joining her in a happy space of hazy bliss, incoherent words, grunts and pleas to God and heaven above.
Breathing hard, her hands finally loosen around my face. One last spurt into her, and the muscles in my body begin to relax. I kiss her nose, neck, mouth, and cheek with the last bit of strength I possess and say, “You’re beautiful, and that was transcendent. Thank you.”
After all that, her shy smile appears, and she kisses my lips. I roll to the side, taking her with me, safe and secure in my arms.
